


rise through the night

by bodhirookes



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: 2 main mentions of child abuse that will come with warnings, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Is Gay, Families of Choice, Family, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Found Family, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Past Child Abuse, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, and flynn is just along for the ride, basically the molinas adopt the boys, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28052616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodhirookes/pseuds/bodhirookes
Summary: “We’d have to agree,” Luke jumps in. “Not about the demons part, but that you’re way better than Carrie. That girl and her attitude are rank.”“I think her choreography is kind of cool,” Alex says. “And the outfits Dirty Candy all wear. Lots of glitter. Lots of sparkles. Two of my faves.”“Well, thanks,” Julie replies, flustered and a little endeared. “I’m sure you guys rock.”“We rock the hardest.” Reggie thinks for a moment, fingers steepled under his chin. “If we had a place to practice tonight, we could show you. But you’ll just have to take our word for it.”“I thought we were—” Luke starts, but Alex cuts him off with a pointed shake of his head. “Ah, well. Sorry, Julie, I guess you don’t get to listen to Sunset Curve rock your socks off after all.”“If you guys want, you can come over to my house. We have a studio out back that I use to write music in. You can dazzle me with some of Sunset Curve’s greatest hits.”Or, a no ghost!AU where Julie meets the boys at school and, after inviting them to the studio one night, her house accidentally ends up becoming the Molina Home for Wayward Teenage Rockstars
Relationships: Alex & Carlos Molina & Julie Molina & Ray Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Flynn & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex/Willie in ch5, basically it's one giant family dynamic yall, eventual Julie/Luke but not main focus
Comments: 66
Kudos: 250





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> howdy everyone!!!!! this is my first time writing for julie and the phantoms and i'm real excited to be here!!! i just got into the show liiiiiike 2 weeks ago?? and as soon as i finish it for the first time i was like "i have to write found family jatp,,,,, i NEED TO WRITE IT NOW" so here we are :") this fic is going to have 3 chapters basically just showcasing the molinas all falling head over heels in love with these three cuties and flynn also willing to perish for them. but i'm sure that i'll write little oneshots for this universe after the main fic ends so look forward to that!! also wanted to say that all the kids are v obviously queer and i see them as alex being gay, flynn/julie/reggie being bi, and luke being pan as a lot of ppl in the fandom do, so that's in here and it's v casual.
> 
> this is my main warning for the fic and also this first chapter: luke's family is trying, but alex's and reggie's familes suck. they are abusive and shitty, hence the boys all taking refuge with the molinas. there is not going to be anything super graphic, but there will be plenty conversations about child abuse. i'll leave tws in the notes section for each chapter that contains anything more intense than mentions/discussions of child abuse or anything i think might be triggering in particular!! please stay safe and in a good mindset to read this kind of content!!!
> 
> *****SEE END NOTES FOR TW FOR CH1*****
> 
> i hope you all enjoy ch1! this whole fic is an excuse for me to write platonic cuddles and hurt/comfort so look forward to that!!! not beta'd, all mistakes are my own! title comes from bright aka my fave song on the soundtrack thus far!! it gives me ghostbumps every time i listen to it ♡♡♡ bumped the rating up to t for swearing and the heavy topics discussed within

Depending on who you ask, it either happens very gradually or the very second the boys walk through the Molinas’ front door for the first time. 

In the very least, what starts it all is a complete accident. The boys aren’t in the music program, and Julie has only ever heard vague rumors about the three of them as individuals and a threesome. Luke has a bad, cocky attitude, Reggie does and says really weird shit, and Alex is annoyingly worried about every single thing in his life. And, on top of all of that, they are disarmingly close to each other—where there is one, the other two will soon follow, if they aren’t already right there to begin with. 

Julie, admittedly, could care less about them. She has college-level classes, she has the music program, and she has Flynn, so everyone and everything else is pretty irrelevant to her past the acquaintance level. Any whisper of, _“I heard Patterson’s one detention away from being expelled,”_ and _“Yo, I heard that Alex kid left in the middle of Chemistry because he started crying, what a freak,”_ goes in one ear and out the other. They’ve never spoken to each other, and Julie couldn’t tell someone what the three boys even look like if asked. 

And then, one sunny afternoon, Flynn leaves school early to go to a doctor’s appointment and Julie is left to her own devices in the music room. The theatre kids are putting on an extravagant production of _Wicked_ and almost everyone involved in the music program is now involved in the musical, so she has the entire room to herself while they’re off rehearsing. Julie decides to try and work through a difficult set of lyrics that have been bothering her, and is sounding out various things on the piano when she hears a loud crash, several swear words, and then: 

“Dude, you have a human wrecking ball of a voice!” 

Julie’s hands drop onto the piano in surprise, and an unpleasant, cacophonous noise follows that makes her flinch. She leans around the piano’s open lid, ready to tell off one of the careless freshmen always trying to poke around in here, and then stops. 

There are three boys in a heap on the floor. One of them, blonde and wearing a lilac shirt, is half-sprawled across a chair and half-sprawled onto the ground; the second, this one with a black leather jacket and a scuffed pair of combat boots, is laying flat on his back like Charlie Brown; the third boy is struggling to his knees, hair a wild mess and what looks like a guitar case strapped to his back. Despite the spill they just took, he’s grinning like he just won the lottery.

Julie says nothing, just stares and stares and tries to comprehend what the hell is going on here. And then, because she can’t help herself, asks: 

“Is that why you three just did an epic Crash Bandicoot into the chairs?” 

The boy on his back says: “That was uncalled for.” 

“But not entirely inaccurate,” the blonde one concedes, finally righting himself. He’s tall, and has an undercut, and Julie thinks she should be intimated by him but he reminds her a lot of a golden retriever. “We, uh, heard you playing. Out in the hallway.” 

Julie raises her eyebrows. “I figured, since you all decided to… _drop in.”_

“We tried to be sneaky about it, but we’re not exactly subtle guys.” Guitar boy gets to his feet and practically teleports to where she’s still sitting. “But seriously—you have an incredible voice. And you shred on piano.” 

Julie realizes, with a little surprise and a lot of personal betrayal, that she’s fighting back a smile. 

“Thanks. I’m still working on the song right now, so it doesn’t really sound that great yet.” 

Blondie is helping the last member of their posse to his feet, but he stops long enough to look over and tell her: “If that’s what your songs sound like while they’re in progress then the music industry is in for a rude awakening.” 

Leather jacket sends Julie a wink. “Especially when we make it onto the scene, too.” 

She shakes her head, completely and utterly baffled. “Who are you guys?” 

“Sunset Curve,” the one next to her says, and something about the proud tilt to his head and his smug smile makes Julie feel like she’s experiencing deja vu, but she has no idea what prompted it. 

Blonde boy sighs, exasperated. “She meant our _names,_ idiot. I’m Alex.” 

“Oh, yeah. I’m Luke.” 

Luke holds out a fist towards her, so Julie bumps it, trying not to let them see her reaction to this clarifying piece of information. If the blonde guy is Alex, and this guy next to her is Luke, then the last one must be— 

“And I’m Reggie.” He makes the I’ve-got-my-eyes-on-you gesture at her, but the severity of it is lost when some of his carefully styled hair flops onto his forehead. “Do not, under any circumstances, call me Reginald.” 

“Reginald.” Luke teases. 

“You’ve seen me naked—you’re allowed to call me that.” 

“Wow,” Julie says, while Luke splutters. “I knew you guys were tight, but that is a new level of friendship that I wasn’t expecting.” 

Luke holds both hands up defensively. “It was against my will! Reggie forgot to lock his bedroom door.” 

“You forgot to knock!” 

Alex hooks an arm around Reggie’s shoulders and tugs him over to the piano. Julie thinks that this is not the best idea, since Luke and Reggie might be ramping up for an actual fight, but she says nothing, just watches them come closer with wide eyes. While the other two continue to squabble, Alex smiles down at her, and she feels oddly soothed by the expression. 

“You’ve heard of us, then?” 

“Your names, not your band.” Julie feels the need to specify, even though it makes something in Luke deflate and makes her feel weirdly guilty. “Just in passing, though.” 

Reggie’s face changes at this, goes from playful to guarded in the blink of an eye. “Oh, so you’ve heard about us from other people in school? Nice.” 

Alex’s sunny expression shutters, too, and the rest of Luke’s bravado fades, leaving behind weariness. She doesn’t know them, but seeing this transformation makes her wish she did, makes a sick feeling grow in the pit of her stomach at the sight of their coldness and, underneath that, their fear. 

She speaks with as much honesty in her voice as she can manage. “I don’t pay attention to rumors. I actually don’t know anything about you guys, other than your names. I didn’t even know you belonged to them until just now.” 

They just look at her, closed off but also like they want to open back up, so she gives them a friendly smile. 

“I’m Julie.” 

For whatever reason, this makes Luke laugh. “Yeah, we know.” 

“Oh?” 

Alex explains, “Mostly because of Carrie and Flynn. We have a class with both of them and they’re always fighting. Sometimes Carrie brings you up in the heat of the moment, and then Flynn threatens to, um—”

Alex doesn’t continue after that, suddenly unsure of himself, so Reggie finishes with: “She threatens to exorcise her. As in demons, not jogging.” 

“That sounds about right.” 

“And we’d have to agree,” Luke jumps in. “Not about the demons part, but that you’re way better than Carrie. That girl and her attitude are rank.” 

“I think her choreography is kind of cool,” Alex says. “And the outfits Dirty Candy all wear. Lots of glitter. Lots of sparkles. Two of my faves.” 

“Well, thanks,” Julie replies, flustered and a little endeared. “I’m sure you guys rock.”

“We rock the hardest.” Reggie thinks about it for a moment, fingers steepled under his chin. “If we had a place to practice tonight, we could show you. But you’ll just have to take our word for it.” 

“I thought we were—” Luke starts, but Alex cuts him off with a pointed shake of his head. “Ah, well. Sorry, Julie, I guess you don’t get to listen to Sunset Curve rock your socks off after all.”

Julie doesn’t know them. She doesn’t know a single thing about them, besides the faintest memory of old rumors about Alex’s shyness and Reggie’s motormouth and Luke’s detention record. She doesn’t know them, but she knows that expression of defeat they’re all wearing, now that they can’t make music together tonight, and she knows what it’s like to watch all of the light slowly bleed out of someone until they’re grey and aching and just wishing for a chance to change things. 

Julie doesn’t know them, but she wants to. She can feel their greatness like she felt Flynn’s the first day they met, like she felt Mrs. Harrison’s when she walked into the music room on the first day of school and listened to her speak about the freedom and joy of expressing yourself through art. 

“If you guys want,” she starts, hesitantly, “you can come over to my house. We have a studio out back that I use to write music in. You can dazzle me with some of Sunset Curve’s greatest hits.” 

“You mean that?” Luke asks, just as hesitant. 

“Yeah. It’ll be fun.” 

The three of them look down at her, almost like they forgot how they got here and have no idea what’s transpiring as a result. But then Reggie lets out a deep breath, and Alex’s sunny smile returns, and Luke gives her an expression of such gratitude that it makes Julie’s face go hot, and all three of them say as one: 

“Let’s go!” 

**_~.~.~_ **

That night, the boys do end up blowing her away with some of Sunset Curve’s greatest hits, and then she takes a turn blowing them away with a song her and her mom wrote together before Rose passed, and then they end up working together to finish Julie’s WIP, and then suddenly a month has passed and Julie can’t imagine life without them. Alex, Luke, and Reggie become a mostly-permanent fixture in her house and studio, and it’s like they were meant to be there all along, like Julie has been walking through life in a semi-daze until the very moment she met these three cosmic, wonderful dumbasses. It’s like Flynn opened her eyes and woke her mind up, and the boys reached into her heart and turned it all the way up to one hundred. She loves them so much it hurts. And so does Flynn, after her initial shock wears off from finding out that Julie basically took the three most notorious outsiders in school under her proverbial wing. 

_(_ “You just adopted a bad boy gang!” Flynn had yelled, frazzled. “Julie Molina, you adopted a group of John Hughes villains!” 

“Do you really think those three are capable of being bad boys? _Really?”_

“Yeah, I do, actually!” 

Julie had had to keep herself from laughing because the boys were in the studio with them, tinkering around on the old drum set she basically gifted Alex since he’d been playing on a cheap starter set only. “On the way home from school today, they all stopped and asked if they could pet this woman’s dog and Reggie and Alex both cried. Like, shed tears. Over a dog.” 

Flynn had looked at her, and then at the boys, who couldn’t stop running their hands over the drum set and making various _ooh ahh shiny_ noises. 

“Well—just be constantly aware of your surroundings! If they try any funny business, I’m telling your _tía,_ and then your dad, and then Carlos, and then the police, in that order.”) 

She can tell that her dad doesn’t understand it, doesn’t understand how the boys just waltzed into her life and filled so many of its empty places, but he’s nothing but supportive. Julie suspects, under his nonchalant dad persona, that Ray kind of adores them the same way that she does. 

“You really like them, huh?” he asks one night; they’re in the kitchen, setting up a buffet line of sorts for everyone to make their own pizzas, and the guys are playing _Sorry!_ at the table with Carlos. “You’ve been hanging out with them for almost two months straight.” 

Julie looks up from her chopping board of jalapeños and banana peppers, curious as to where this is going. “Yeah, of course. They’re great.” 

Just as she says this, Carlos ends up sending both of Reggie’s active pawns back to start and he yells while Luke and Alex heckle him. Julie amends: “Well, not at _Sorry!,_ but they’re the best in a general sense.” 

Ray smiles, and then inquires, almost off-handedly: “And their parents are okay with them being here all the time?” 

Something about the way he says this concerns her. “They’ve never gotten in trouble for it before. Are they… Do _you_ not want them over all the time? Is it too much?” 

Ray must see his error, because he’s quick to stop kneading their pizza dough and bump elbows with her. “Of course not, _mija._ I just wanted to make sure that their parents aren’t worried about them being here on school nights, that’s all. They’re welcome any time.” 

It’s then that Julie notices what created such a dissonance when her dad asked after the boys and their parents—she has _no_ _idea_ what any of their parents are like, or if they are getting on the boys about hanging out with her so much. They’ve never said anything that would lead her to believe otherwise. She never even thought to ask. 

“I’ll talk to them about it later,” she promises, unease prickling under her skin. “I’ll make sure they’re not getting in trouble for being here all the time.” 

She waits until they’ve all made and consumed their pizzas, until they’ve watched the movie of choice (Reggie’s turn to pick, because the boys have earned that privilege in the Molina household by an unspoken agreement between its three occupants; he went with _Spy Kids 3_ ), until the sun has long since set and most kids would be forced to be heading home now, but all three of them are still here and completely unconcerned and none of their phones have been going off with calls asking where they are, not even once— 

She waits until they’re back in the studio, Luke babbling about an idea he got in History for the chorus of a song, to say: 

“Hey, can I ask you guys a question?” 

They stop talking immediately and turn to her. There must be something giving her apprehension away, because Luke’s shoulders tighten and Alex’s voice is falsely cheerful when he responds with: “Yeah, what’s up?” 

It occurs to Julie, milliseconds before the question slips out, that they might think she sounds like the other kids in school. Fishing for dirty secrets on the boys, taking an assumption and running wild with it and not caring how and if it pierces them. She chokes for that millisecond, staring back into Reggie’s panicked eyes, catching a glimpse of Alex’s knuckles going white around his drumsticks, and then it slips out. 

“Are your parents okay with you hanging out here so much?” 

The effect of these words is instantaneous. Any ease that followed them through their fun pizza dinner to the ridiculous plot of _Spy Kids 3_ and then out into the studio is gone as soon as Julie asks this question, and she’s met with a silence that is so deafening it makes her breath catch. She looks at them as a whole, and then individually, trying to find some clues, trying to find anything. But it’s like she’s looking onto three stone fortresses, and they are looking back, daring her to try and climb up and find what lies behind them. 

“Are you not okay with it?” Luke eventually asks back, voice flat. It’s like watching a polaroid develop in reverse. “Is your dad not okay with it?” 

“Of course I am. We both are.” Julie sits on the arm of one of the chairs and knits her fingers together, trying to think of how to say what she needs to say without it sounding like an accusation. “I didn’t mean for that to come out rudely or anything. It’s just—they know you’re with me, right? That this is where you’ll be until, like, 10 on school nights? Midnight on the weekends? And they’re all right with that?” 

They don’t say anything, just stare at their shoes or their hands or anywhere that isn’t Julie’s face. The thought of the silence being from anger makes her feel nauseous, but when she continues to look between the three of them, she once more sees that it’s fear, a raw, helpless fear that is shutting the boys down. 

She gets up again and walks to where they’re all clustered together around Alex’s drum set. They glance up at her, mouths tight and backs rigid; they look like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, like they’re waiting for Julie to throw a punch, and it all falls into place. 

Julie walks until she’s right in between Reggie and Luke, and then she reaches out and takes one of their hands in hers and squeezes gently. 

“Do they know you’re here?” she asks, soft, soft, soft. 

Reggie’s fingers close around hers like she is the only thing keeping him from falling backwards off of a cliff. “No, they don’t.” 

She doesn’t want to, already feels like she might cry if she does, but forces herself to ask: “Do they _care?”_

Alex sets his sticks down on the tom-tom drum and finally meets her eyes, looking bone-tired and ragged at the edges. “No. They don’t care.” 

“Only mine,” Luke admits, also clinging to Julie’s hand. “They don’t know where I go, and they hate that I’m out so late, but we—we clash a lot, and I would rather be free here than locked up there. It’s complicated.” 

Julie’s heart bursts in her chest, but she still pushes farther, as far as they’ll let her go. 

“Will you tell me?” 

And they do. They let Julie guide them away from their instruments to the couch, and the three of them squeeze onto it while she perches in the armchair, arms wrapped around her torso like it will keep the hurt out. Luke picks up where he left off, and he tells Julie all about the complicated relationship he has with his parents and they have with his dream of being a musician, and even so, it’s clear that he is the best off amongst the bunch. They fight all the time, but they still love Luke, and he still loves them, but they want different things and he feels like he’s wounding them when he’s there and can’t be who they want him to be. 

Alex tells her about hiding himself from his parents, about how hiding that he’s gay from them eventually stemmed into having panic attacks over them finding out and then bled into a generalized anxiety disorder that will remain undiagnosed until he’s an adult, probably, since he came out to them a year ago and nothing has been the same since. He tells her about the words they say, and the words they want him to read and follow, and he tells her that he would rather have all of himself than only a few parts of them. 

And then Reggie tells her about how his parents eloped after only a few months of dating because his mom got pregnant, and now it’s too expensive and too inconvenient and too this and too that for them to get a divorce, but Reggie has known they hate each other since he was a kid. And he knows that they’ve hated him for just as long, that he is their greatest failure, a product of their combined woes and mistakes and only serves the purpose of reminding them of this every time they look at him. So he only leaves the house after they’ve both gone off to work, and he doesn’t go back until they’re in their separate bedrooms, drunk and well on their way to passing out. He would rather do anything else than sit inside of his house and listen to his parents try to tear it down with all of their screaming and cursing. 

When they’re done, it takes Julie a few times to try and speak again. There are tears stinging her eyes, and her hands are trembling with a combination of revulsion and a fury that is so fierce and so bright that it burns to keep it inside, but this is not about her, so she reels it in as much as she can. 

She has one last important question to ask, one that she needs to know the answer to more than she will ever need to track these parents down and go to war with them. So she gets up from her seat and comes to stand in front of them, in front of these three boys who are talented and brilliant enough to change the world, but have lived their whole lives being told otherwise by the people who should’ve been the first ones to tell them. To show them how. 

They look up at her, pale and scared and loving despite it all, and Julie asks, “Do you feel safe here?” while praying with everything she’s got that the answer is yes. It won’t change anything, but it will help, knowing that there is somewhere in the Hell of their lives where they feel seen and heard and safe. 

They look at her, and then Alex reaches up and carefully takes her hands, the only who hasn’t held them yet, and he whispers, “Julie, this is the _only_ place we feel safe,” and it doesn’t change anything, but it also changes everything. 

She rests her knee on the edge of the couch, in between the sides of Alex’s and Luke’s legs, and then she winds her arms around Alex’s shoulders and holds him as tight as she can. He releases a startled breath against her shoulder, the sound he might have made if Julie told them all to get lost, and then he crushes her close, grabs her and holds on like he might drown if he doesn’t. 

On her right, Luke makes a similarly startled noise, and on her left, Reggie carefully touches Julie’s bicep, either to hold onto her or to throw her off. She decides for them and lets go of Alex’s neck to fit her hands around the backs of their heads. 

“Come here,” she says, no room for an argument. 

The effect of these two words does more than the question she first asked them, the one that sucked all of the air out of the studio. Luke and Reggie fold into her and Alex immediately, wrapping their arms around her back and Alex’s shoulders. Luke’s forehead ends up on the jut of Alex’s left shoulder, and Reggie’s ends up against Julie’s. She can feel all of their hearts racing, either from a surge of affection or from the fear of being thrown away again, and she rests her cheek against the side of Alex’s head and wraps her arms around Luke’s and Reggie’s backs. 

They are a mess of limbs, thrashing hearts, and hot, anguished tears, and Julie has never felt more full and more empty than she does in this moment, with the fate of three of the sweetest people she’s ever met resting in the palms of her hands. 

“You are always welcome here,” she tells them, voice steady and strong and unquestionable. They tremble in her arms, and she says it again, will say it as many times as she has to. “Always. No matter what time of day, no matter if you think I’m tired of seeing you, no matter if we’re fighting and not speaking to each other. You are always, always welcome here. And I want you to be here. _We_ want you to be here.” 

“Thank you,” one of them whispers, maybe Alex, maybe Reggie, maybe Luke, maybe all three of them at once. She doesn’t know who said it, but it means that they heard her and understood her, and it is enough. And someday, when she is feeling less fragile, when the boys will understand that she means it, she’ll tell them that she loves them, and that they are her family just as much as her _mami_ and her _papi_ and her _tía_ and Carlos and Flynn. That they are her home and she is theirs and family is who loves and chooses you no matter what. But for now, she holds them close and tells them she loves them by being a pillar of support, something that they’ve probably never known outside of each other, something that she will give them forever if she can. 

**_~.~.~_ **

If Julie thought she loved the boys before their heart-to-heart, it’s nothing compared to how she feels after everything is released. The faint wall they had between themselves and her, even after weeks of spending time together, vanishes completely once Julie opens the front door to her house and tells them to come inside and _stay._

Carlos comments on it one night, while Ray is making them his patented spaghetti, and the boys, Julie, and Flynn are all crammed into the Molinas’ living room, playing _Mario Kart._ Currently, it’s Luke and Alex playing against each other on the ground in front of the couch. The other three are curled together right behind them, and while Reggie is hyping Alex up, Julie and Flynn are doing their best to harass Luke into losing. 

“Come on, Patterson, you can do better than that!” Flynn yells, tugging Luke’s beanie down over one of his eyes. 

He slaps her away, and then promptly goes flying off the track. “Hey, knock it off!” 

Julie starts jostling him by his shoulders. “Dude, go! Alex is almost a whole lap ahead!” 

“No thanks to you!” Luke shouts, and sends Princess Daisy hurtling down the track. “This is a conspiracy to let Alex win because he’s a sore loser.”

Alex makes a rude noise. “That’s called transference, dummy.” 

“No it’s not!” 

“You’re the sorest loser I’ve ever met,” Alex insists, and cheers when Princess Peach hits an item box. He gets some banana peels and immediately flings them out all over the track. “We’ve let you win since second grade!” 

“Lies and slander—” Luke cuts off when he hits an item box and is gifted with Bullet Bill. “Ohhhh yeahhhh, baby!” 

“No!” Julie cries, shoving Luke’s beanie further over his eyes, but the damage is already done. Princess Daisy speeds through the track until she’s only two racers behind Princess Peach and then Bullet Bill drops her down again. Luke pushes her past the next cart, the one holding Luigi, and Alex screams something nonsensical when Luke starts to gain on Donkey Kong, the other computer racer between them. 

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Alex!” Alex says frantically, racing as fast as the game will let him. “Please do me a big ol’ favor and let me win just once against Luke Patterson! Amen.” 

Luke says, “God can’t save you now, Mercer!” but is swiftly interrupted by Princess Daisy’s cart doing a dramatic wipe-out into the sidelines. It appears that one of the other computer racers, this time Bowser, got a few of the red shells on an item box and ended up striking Princess Daisy with one of them. 

“This is bull—!” Luke starts to yell, and Julie manages to clap a hand over his mouth at the same time that Alex whoops and crosses the finish line in first place. While the confetti and music celebrating Alex’s win go off, he turns to Luke and says: “Victory is sweet, bro!” 

Luke lets out a deflating balloon noise and flops backwards into Flynn’s lap, looking at her with utter betrayal. He reluctantly hands over his controller, since she’s the next one up, and tells her: “I hope he picks Rainbow Road.” 

“You _are_ the sorest of losers,” Flynn says decidedly, shoving him off of her legs. “How about you pay attention this round and learn a few things?” 

He mimics her under his breath, but trades places with her so she can choose a racer. While Flynn is settling in next to Alex and customizing her (Yoshi’s) cart, Luke hauls himself onto the couch and rests his head against Julie’s shoulder. 

“I was so close.” 

Julie pats his hand the way parents do with their small children. “I know you were, buddy. You’ll get him next time.” 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Flynn snarks, and then groans. “You really did pick Rainbow Road! What’s wrong with you?” 

Alex grins at her. “Hey, it’s fair game! The gays have to play it at least once during _Mario Kart.”_

“We’re all the gays,” Flynn points out, just as Luke says, “I wasn’t gay enough for you to choose it during our round? Hurtful, dude.” 

Reggie leans over Julie and tells him: “I think you should be grateful because if Alex had chosen Rainbow Road for your game, you wouldn’t have made it a single lap, let alone two and a half.” 

“Well, that was mean.” 

Carlos comes into the living room just as Alex and Flynn are starting their race, and he stops and stares at the sight of them from the entryway. Julie doesn’t see him right away, too caught up in cheering Flynn on and keeping Luke from messing up her race the way she did his. She eventually looks over at Luke after he pretends to bite her arm, and catches sight of her brother when she pretends to bite Luke back.

“What’s up, weirdo?” 

Carlos blinks. “You guys are the weirdos.” 

“Why?” Luke asks him, glancing over their group. 

“You’re like…” Carlos waves a hand, as if to encompass the supposed weirdness of this situation in the simple movement. “Freaking out and punching each other but you’re still, like, super close together. I don’t get it.” 

Julie tries not to stiffen against Luke and Reggie, but dread fills her immediately when Carlos says this. Not because they’re doing anything wrong, but because she doesn’t want the boys to think that they’re doing something wrong. 

Luke and Reggie don’t seem bothered, though. On the contrary, Reggie turns to Carlos and wiggles his fingers in a _get over here_ gesture. 

“Come sit with us then. You can hang out and figure it out on your own, little dude.” 

Carlos purses his mouth, like he might call them all weirdos again and take off for his room. But then he gives Reggie a cute, bashful smile, and gallops past the TV as fast as he can and onto the empty spot at the end of the couch. Reggie arranges Carlos so that his back is against the arm of the couch and his legs are thrown across Reggie’s and pressing into Julie’s, effectively adding him to their tangle, and Julie’s heart grows three times its normal size in her chest.

When Ray comes into the room a while later and announces: “Time for dinner, kids!” Julie notices the way he also stops to take in their pile, and notices the way he visibly melts at the sight. And when Reggie asks: “Ray, is it okay if I say grace tonight?” and Ray responds with: “Absolutely, kiddo,” Julie feels blessed beyond words for her weird little family and the way they’ve all come together after the darkest year of her life. 

**_~.~.~_ **

The first time one of them spends the night, it’s a regular Tuesday and Julie isn’t expecting it. The boys had tromped home with her for homework, enchiladas, and then a few hours of playing around with a new song. They decided to spend the last stretch of the night watching _King of the Masked Singer,_ a show the boys are hilariously into, before Luke and Reggie split to head to their respective houses. 

Alex, however, lingers; he sees Luke and Reggie off, and then as the minutes start to tick by where he would normally also head home, he sits on Julie’s couch and fidgets. She asks if he’s okay, and he plays it off as coolly as he knows how, which is definitely not cool at all. She gives him ten more minutes to come clean, but when all he does in those ten minutes is start biting his nails and jiggling his leg, Julie gives up on being casual about it. She scoots all the way from her end of the couch to Alex’s and throws a friendly arm around his shoulders, ignoring his startled jump. 

“Hey pal,” Julie says, flashing a cheesy grin to lure him into a sense of calm and security. “How’s it goin’?” 

“Um,” Alex starts, and then stops, tensing under Julie’s curious stare. “Um.” 

They’ve all gotten better at this in the weeks since crying together in the studio, but sometimes the guys still struggle to open up to her or ask her for help. Julie’s usually pretty good at figuring out what they need, often before they do themselves, but then there are times like this where she can’t proceed on intuition alone. She softens her smile into one that is more comforting.

“Hey, it’s okay. You can tell me what’s going on. I just want to help.” 

It takes another long minute for Alex to work it over in his head and then say it out loud. Julie lets him have it, never anything but patient and ready to act.

“It’s—my parents.” Alex admits, the last part almost a whisper. “I, I don’t—” 

He clenches his jaw, like he can’t decide if he wants to say the words and be rid of them or choke them down and forget all together. The sensation of being seasick rolls in when Alex brings up his parents, but Julie forces herself to keep a calm exterior for his sake. 

Alex releases a breath and hunches into himself, tries to make himself look as small as his big stature will allow, before admitting: “I’m scared to go home.” 

Julie’s smile slips all the way off. “Did something happen, Alex?” 

He shrugs. “Kinda, but kinda not. They’re always the way they are, but—I don’t know. They’ve been really going for it the past couple of days, and I’m just... I have this gut feeling that it’s going to come to a head tonight if I go home.” 

She can hardly bear to ask, “Are they going to hurt you?”

Alex shakes his head, but it doesn’t provide any relief. “No, I don’t think they would do that. I think—” 

His hands start to visibly tremble, and then his body, and then his mouth, and Julie realizes with a great horror that Alex is _crying._

“I think they’re gonna kick me out,” he gasps, voice cracking. “Julie, they’re gonna kick me out, and I don’t have any of my stuff, and I don’t have anywhere to go, where the hell am I gonna _go—”_

“Hey, hey,” Julie gently interrupts, getting to her feet. Alex tries to tuck even further into himself, obviously ashamed by this display, but Julie just reaches out and cups his face in between her hands. “It’s all right, Alex, it’s all going to be just fine. You can stay here tonight, okay? We’ll set up the guest room for you and you can spend the night. You don’t have to go home.” 

“But—but my parents—” Alex chokes out, paling at the mention of them again. It makes Julie’s blood boil. “What if they—”

He stops speaking completely, face crumpling. Alex releases a gut-wrenching sob and Julie is right there, wrapping her arms around his shaking body, pulling him close, and wishing, wishing, wishing she could keep him from feeling like this ever again. So afraid to go home that he’s sobbing over it; so afraid to go home that he would almost rather go home and face their wrath now than be safe with her for a night and face a worse wrath the next. Alex buries his tear-soaked face into Julie’s sternum and cries helplessly, going from curling into himself to curling around her as much as he possibly can in her half-standing position. 

Julie lets him let it out, one hand moving back and forth across the plane of his shoulders in what she hopes is a comforting gesture. She lets him let it out, until Alex is shivering and hiccuping, and then she carefully eases back to look at him again. 

“I’m gonna go talk to my dad real quick, okay?” she asks, wiping away some of his tears. “I’m not letting you go home like this. Not if you’re this afraid of what they’ll do when you get there.” 

“But they might get really mad,” Alex protests, even though Julie can see that he would rather do anything than face his parents right now. “They might—” 

The thought goes unfinished, but Julie knows the end of it, sees the image of Alex cowering away and hears the crack of a hand across his cheek like it’s being burned behind her eyes. She almost vomits just thinking about it, and will be damned if she lets it happen. 

“You’re staying here. You are _not_ going home when I know what might happen if you do. I refuse.” 

Alex sniffles and lets Julie dry some more tears from his face. She’s afraid that he might insist on going home, or play off the very real terror overcoming him at the thought of doing so, but eventually he takes a shuddering breath and whispers: “Thank you.” 

Julie is so relieved and so, so angry that she nearly starts crying, too, but refuses to let Alex see her break while he needs her to be strong. 

“I’ll be right back,” she promises, and then slips away from the couch and up the stairs to her dad’s room. 

Julie knocks softly, hearing the muted sound of Ray’s TV playing behind the door. After a brief pause, the sound lowers and Ray’s voice calls out: “Come in!” 

She almost shatters at the sight of his warm, loving face, knowing what she knows now. That Alex is in her living room and worrying himself sick over whether or not to go home. Is facing the danger of never seeing his dad again by his dad’s own will. 

Ray’s face goes from warm to concerned in a heartbeat, and then he’s getting out of bed, setting his hands on her shoulders, becoming the shield that Julie could never live without. 

_“Mija,_ what’s wrong?” he asks, voice so, so soft. Julie’s throat closes up at the sound of it. “What happened?” 

“It’s Alex,” she explains, the words coming out warped and scared. “He—he told me that he’s afraid to go home tonight.” 

Ray’s hold on her tightens. “Did something happen?” 

“Not yet. But he’s afraid that if he goes home, something will.” Julie closes her eyes and does everything she can to keep herself from breaking down in front of him. “He thinks they’re going to kick him out because he’s gay. But if he doesn’t go home tonight, they might do something worse when he does go home tomorrow. He thinks they might—”

Julie’s voice breaks off and stays there, and Ray just makes a soothing sound and brushes away the tears that she can’t hold in. When she blinks her eyes open again, she sees the same horror and rage building inside of her stretched all across her dad’s face, and finds some solace in the knowledge that he would never send Alex away. 

“He’ll stay here tonight,” Ray tells her without hesitation. “And if he still feels unsafe tomorrow, he can stay again and we’ll come up with a plan. But we’ll worry about that when that time comes, okay? Let’s just focus on tonight and taking care of him right now.” 

While Ray is fixing up the guest room, Julie goes back downstairs to grab Alex. She finds him still on the couch, staring down at his bitten-down nails and not moving an inch, something that never happens unless he’s completely and totally exhausted. He looks up when she comes into the living room, and the sight of his damp face and his bleak, defeated eyes makes her feel like a livewire, like she might just storm all the way over to the Mercers’ house and scream at them until her vocal cords bleed. 

Instead, she goes to Alex and pulls him off of the couch, saying: “We’re getting the guest room set up for you, okay?” And he just dips his head in a half-nod and lets Julie guide him upstairs, grabbing his backpack as they go. 

Ray comes out of the guest room just as they reach the top of the stairs, and all of the horror and rage from earlier is back to his usual warmth. He’s holding a pair of sweatpants and presents them to Alex, who takes them with a tiny, tiny smile, but a smile nonetheless. 

“We’re the closest in size in this house, so hopefully those fit. You’re welcome to say the night tonight, and any night you need to, okay, Alex? You’re safe here. Every part of you.” 

“Thanks,” Alex replies, hoarse but sincere. “Thank you so much.” 

Ray takes a step closer and folds Alex up into a hug, instantly becoming his shield, his armor, everything that Alex should have had this entire time. “You don’t need to thank us. Family looks out for family. We will always look out for you. We’re not going to let anyone hurt you if we can help it.” 

Alex’s breath hitches, and then he wraps his arms around Ray and starts to tremble all over again. Julie presses a hand against his back, and quietly says: “I’ll go get you a toothbrush,” before letting them have a moment together. 

They get him settled in for the night, with Ray’s sweatpants and a spare toothbrush and as many words of comfort that they think Alex can handle, and then Ray goes back to his room and Julie goes to hers. She feels hollowed-out and sick, like she needs to sleep outside of Alex’s room to watch over him throughout the night. And even though Alex made her promise not to, knowing that it would just send them into a panic, Julie almost pulls her phone out to call Luke and Reggie and tell them what happened. She only doesn’t because Alex swears that he'll explain tomorrow at school, since he and Julie will be arriving together with Flynn, anyways, and he'll have to text the boys beforehand so they don't wait for him. 

Julie feels sick and tired, but she doesn’t feel wound down enough to fall asleep yet, so she gets into pajamas, brushes her teeth, and decides to watch _Wreck-It Ralph_. She’s just gotten underneath a fuzzy blanket and started the movie when she hears a timid knock at her door, and knows who it is immediately. 

She opens the door to find Alex on the other side, looking hopeful and sorry for disturbing her. Her heart clenches at the sight of him, even though they only said goodnight twenty minutes ago, even though he’s in the safest place he could possibly be.

“Hey, what’s up?” 

Alec plucks at his hoodie strings without saying anything for a moment, obviously fighting with himself. Julie lets him gather his courage, and he eventually asks: “Would it be okay if I came in for a little bit?” 

“Don’t want to be alone?” Julie replies, understanding completely, and steps aside to let him in. “Want to watch _Wreck-It Ralph?_ I just started it.”

“Dude, totally—I love that movie.” 

Julie climbs back into bed with Alex and tucks him under the blanket with her, so that they’re curled up together, and starts the movie from the beginning. They rave about their favorite parts, and quote the: “Just because you are bad guy does not mean you are _bad guy,”_ line in unison, and the wildness in Julie’s ribcage finally begins to mellow out, leaving her just tired and not rundown. Alex, too, seems to finally be relaxing, body going from slightly tensed to sinking into the mattress, and laughter coming easily in between their hushed commentary. 

They make it to the part where Ralph meets Vanellope for the first time before Alex turns to her and whispers: “Hey, Julie?” 

Julie mirrors him, shaking off some of the sleepiness. “Yeah?” 

Alex stares at her for a beat, like he’s not going to finish his thought, then smiles and tells her: “I know you said not to thank you, but thanks for letting me stay. It means a lot to me.” 

“Of course, Alex.” She worms a hand out from underneath the blanket and rests it against his cheek, so that he knows she means business. “Just like my dad said—you’re our family, and the Molinas always look out for family. No matter what, without question. We’ll go to the ends of the Earth for you.” 

Alex swallows heavily, but doesn’t cry again, so Julie counts it as a win. “You and the guys are the only family I have. I’d be lost without you.” 

“Me too,” she admits, so quietly that it almost doesn’t come out at all. “I didn’t even realize what I was missing until you three cartwheeled into the music room and stole my heart.”

“We didn’t cartwheel,” he tries to protest, but he’s laughing, so Julie starts to laugh too, and they have to push their faces into her pillows to keep from waking Carlos up. “It wasn’t a great first impression, I’ll give you that.” 

“No, it was perfect. You guys let me know right away what you were.” 

“Hopeless idiots?” 

“I was going for unforgettable. Exactly what I was looking for.” 

“Aw,” Alex says, and _now_ he looks like he’s going to cry. “Julie.” 

Julie moves her hand from Alex’s cheek to his neck, and when she pulls, he goes easily. They fold into each other, arms wrapping around their sides, Julie’s face pressing into his shoulder, Alex’s cheek pressing into the crown of her head. She runs her hand along his shoulder blades again, to be both affectionate and comforting, and Alex squeezes her so tightly it hurts, but in a good way. Like he’s trying to leave an imprint of himself in her bones and muscles. Like he didn’t become her blood the day they all came home with her for the first time. 

“We’re going to figure this out together, okay?” she says. “No matter what, no matter how long it takes, we’re in this together. You’re ours and we’re yours and we’ll figure it all out together. It’s going to be all right.” 

Alex hugs her tighter. “Okay, we’ll do this together.” And then, after a heartbeat, she hears her favorite words. “I love you, Julie.” 

“I love you too, Alex. Forever and always.” 

**_~.~.~_ **

They must fall asleep, twisted around each other underneath Julie’s fuzzy blanket, because she closes her eyes for just a moment and the next time she opens them, Alex is breathing deeply against her and there’s someone moving around at the foot of her bed. Julie’s still mostly asleep, isn’t sure she’s really awake at all, but struggles to find out who the person in her room is and if she needs to throw herself between them and Alex. She relaxes, though, when they step into the light of her TV and she sees that it’s just her dad. From this angle, he can’t tell that she’s awake, but she can see his face clearly: it’s fond, warm, and a little sad, and Julie feels so safe and so full of love that if she were awake she would probably be crying. 

As it is, she just sighs, tucks herself back under Alex’s chin, and lets her dad shut off the TV. She slips back into unconsciousness just as Ray moves to Alex’s side of the bed and pulls the blankets up higher around them, making sure they’re completely covered before leaving them to soundly sleep. 


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all yee beware: here there be cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goooooooood god i am so sorry about the long delay between chapters. i seriously wrote ch1 in like 3 sitting and really loved what came out, and then i went to write ch2 and i have hated every single second of writing this one. i ended up getting to 8k once and then went back and deleted about 3k of it because i didn't like anything whatsoever, and now i'm back with 9.6k and i'm feeling a little better. unfortunately i think this might just have to stay as it is and suffer from 2nd chapter syndrome bc i'm tired of looking at and editing it (srsly i've read through this thing about 10 times asfsajdjasfa) so i'm very deeply sorry if this chapter is not nearly as good as ch1 since that one came so naturally to me and this one was like climbing uphill through quicksand. but now that i have it out, i'm feeling confident in the rest of the fic and am hyped to move forward!!!! 
> 
> also, as you can probs see if you were here for ch1, i have increased the chapter count to 5. i'm not sure if it will stay there but i realized i had a lot more plans for this fic than would fit into 3 chapters if i wanted to make them all about 8-10k each, so i've expanded the count!! i'll continue to put tws when applicable, but there are none to be found in this chapter besides the aftermath of alex not going home and julie being worried as hell about him!! 
> 
> so yeah, to summarize: this chapter was so difficult for me to get through but i think it's in a good place now and i can move onto the rest of this fic, which i'm absolutely stoked about. pls look forward to more found family feels and an uptick in platonic affection ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ also once more, i don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own!! sorry about the random word i probably misspelled in here or forgot completely :")

In a stroke of good luck, Flynn doesn’t look the least bit phased when she comes to pick Julie up for school the next morning and Alex is with her. Alex is obviously waiting for a pointed comment or invasive question, but all Flynn does is say: “Morning, cutie,” to him and then immediately jumps into complaining about calculus. It helps that Julie texted her beforehand, but it also helps that Flynn can discern when it’s time to be dramatic and when it’s time to be casual.

Flynn isn’t the one that she’s worried about, anyways. 

“Did you text them?” she asks, as they’re putting on their shoes. “About not waiting for you?” 

“I sure did,” Alex replies, glancing at his phone. “They’ll see it any second.” 

“Alex!” 

“What?” 

Julie flaps a hand at him. “You texted them _just now?_ They’re going to freak out!” 

“No they won’t! They’ll be totally cool about it.” 

Julie loves the boys more than she can bear, but sometimes, they are maddeningly clueless. “When have Luke and Reggie ever been ‘cool’ about something in their entire lives? And what makes you think they’ll be cool about you not walking to school with them for probably the first time? So you can walk to school with me and Flynn instead?”

Alex says nothing while he thinks it over, and Julie watches as his expression goes from unconcerned to mildly alarmed. 

“Oh,” he notes, as if waking out of a deep sleep. “They’re going to murder me.” 

Julie shares a doomed look with Flynn; but, in spite of their pending battle in the trenches of war, she still puts a supporting arm around Alex because she’s a good friend. 

“Most likely, but we’ll make sure to hold them off as best we can. At least you learned from your mistake.” 

Flynn takes up his other side, so that they’re like Alex’s floaties in the wide open pool of life. He wraps his arms around their shoulders and tries not to cling too tightly. 

“We’ll escort you safely to the stage, sir,” Flynn tells him, and then they’re out the door and en route to school while Alex asks their opinions about various ways to explain the situation without making Luke and Reggie lose their shit. 

Julie tries to text Luke separately and say: **_hey dude maybe don’t go crazy ahhhh go stupid when you see him_** in a reasonable manner ** _._** Luke simply texts back: **_> :(((((((((((!!! $*%@^* _**so Julie knows it’s a lost cause and redoubles her efforts as one of Alex’s knights in shining armor. 

When they get to school, everything is calm and peachy keen for all of about ten minutes. Alex is wearing the exact same clothes as yesterday, but he assures Julie that due to having a _hefty_ amount of anxiety, there are two changes of clothes in his locker for Reasons, so she tries not to worry about people noticing. They follow Alex to his locker so that he can grab his clothes, and then follow him to the bathrooms, where they sit on a bench to wait for him to change. Julie holds onto a small, lingering flame of hope that the other two will behave civilly when they arrive, will not make her want to do an about-face and go back home for the day. But the hope is dashed when Flynn, in the middle of complaining about calculus some more, glances over Julie’s shoulder and suddenly alerts her:

“Incoming at your six.” 

Julie turns to see Luke and Reggie practically flying down the hallway, weaving and cutting through the crowd like a pair of swords. She takes a moment to silently pray for strength, whether the strength is for keeping Luke and Reggie from freaking out or not rocket launching them into outer space, and then she jumps to her feet. 

She manages to catch Luke by the shoulders before he goes banging into the bathroom, instinctively knowing this is where Alex is. 

“Woahhh,” Julie drawls, holding him fast. “Not a great idea, dude. Let’s give the guy some privacy.” 

Luke grabs onto her elbows, and for a wild moment, Julie thinks he’s going to throw her off of him. Then she realizes that he’s clinging to her the same way Alex clung to her and Flynn on the walk to school, that he’s more scared than anything and needs something to keep him grounded. He needs, just as he has since that fateful night, for Julie to be his rock. 

“Did something happen to him?” Luke asks frantically, trying and failing to keep his voice low. “He doesn’t just ditch the morning walk to school! _Ever!”_

“What did he text you?” Julie counters, neither confirming or denying, not sure what Alex would want her to reveal. 

“Only that he was walking to school with you two and to not wait around,” Reggie says, pushing in close. Julie hasn’t seen them this afraid in a long time, not since the night she asked about their families, and it makes her stomach twist. “And no offense, but his house is in the complete opposite direction of yours. AKA our direction.” 

“Which means he must have stayed the night,” Luke concludes, fingers spasming around her arms. “Which means he couldn’t go home, or he went home and then came back. _So_ _what happened?”_

Julie has spent hours and hours and hours with them, but these boys and their unfailing dedication and love for each other never ceases to amaze her. It’s Alex’s story to tell, his decision to give away what he wants, but Julie does what she can to comfort them until he’s ready. She keeps one hand on Luke’s shoulder, puts the other one on Reggie’s, and tries to stay unflappable for their sake as much as Alex’s. 

“He’s fine,” she assures. “He’ll explain more once he’s done changing, but he stayed over all of last night, and I promise that nothing happened to him. He’s all right.” 

The words work like a charm, and Luke and Reggie both let out a relieved breath when she says them. It doesn’t erase their fear, but it helps to ease it; Luke squeezes her elbow, and Reggie gives her wrist a series of grateful taps, like he’s strumming his beloved bass guitar. 

“Now,” Julie continues, gently pulling on their shoulders, “I think it would be in our best interest not to stand in front of the bathroom door like a bunch of creeps. We’re going to wait for Alex to come out by this bench the way normal friends do.” 

Luke attempts to joke: “That is normal for us,” but he still sounds skittish and a split second away from kicking the bathroom door in, so Julie instructs: “Sit down and focus on not catapulting yourselves at him when he’s done. If you cause a ruckus, he’ll just start lecturing you instead of answering your questions.”

Surprisingly, they do as they’re told, and Flynn flashes Julie a subtle thumbs-up for her good work. In an attempt to calm himself down, Luke turns to her and asks: “And how has your morning been thus far, Ms. Rider?” 

Flynn smirks. “Eventful.” 

“We get that a lot.” 

“Gee, I would have never guessed.” 

Flynn puts all of her effort into keeping Luke distracted, but this tactic doesn’t work so well for Reggie, who doesn’t try to engage in their conversation. He’s practically vibrating on the bench, leg going a mile a minute and hands twisting together. Julie knows that the only reason he isn’t trying to kick the bathroom door down is because she 1) forced him chill, and 2) is standing directly in front of him, effectively cutting off his escape route. And even though Julie is using her limited power to make Reggie chill, she hates seeing him so agitated and well on the way to a panic attack. 

“Reg, it’s gonna be okay,” she says, quiet enough that only the two of them can hear. He jerks his head up when she does, and Julie sets her hand back on his shoulder. “It’s gonna to be just fine, but he needs you to be calm? It’s been a long twelve hours, and what he needs most right now is for you to stay nice and calm. Take a deep breath for me.” 

He takes the requested breath, and then another, steadying himself. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. I can do that.” Reggie leans firmly into her touch; then, after a beat of hesitation, takes another deep breath and leans forward until the side of his face is pressed into her arm. She can feel the muscles in his back starting to untense when he whispers: “Thanks, Julie.” 

Julie, who would probably fight God for these boys, swallows past the lump in her throat and replies: “Always.” 

In another stroke of good luck, Julie and Flynn only have to placate the boys for a few minutes before the bathroom door opens and Alex steps through it again. He’s wearing his fresh set of clothes (a pink, long-sleeved Nike shirt and black joggers), his face is damp and a little red, like he scrubbed it with water, and he looks totally, utterly, perfectly fine. The boys turn to him immediately, Reggie pulling away from Julie’s arm and Luke interrupting his own sentence. Not wanting to get in between their much needed reunion, Julie takes a step back so that Reggie can go to Alex, and Luke follows after. 

Alex gives them both a smile and starts to say: “Hey, sorry about not walking with you—” but Reggie cuts him off by enveloping him in a tight hug. 

“We’re glad you’re okay.” Reggie’s voice is muffled by Alex’s shoulder, but he sounds infinitely calmer than he would have prior to Julie forcing him into a time-out. “That’s all we were worried about, man. The morning walk can suck eggs.” 

“Seriously,” Luke reiterates, trying for humored and falling miles short; he lands right around petrified. “The morning walk can walk the plank. We just needed to make sure you were okay and that you missed the walk because you wanted to build a blanket fort with Julie last night instead.” 

Alex’s collected face wavers, just enough for them all to see how scared he still is. He hugs Reggie tightly, almost picks him right off of the ground, and Reggie’s knuckles go white where they’re clenched around his shirt. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex repeats, sounding lost. “I didn’t mean to make you guys worry. I just—I know we all have a lot of shit going on right now. I didn’t want to add to it.” 

Luke takes another step forward and puts one arm around Reggie’s shoulders and the other around Alex’s, so that they’re all tangled up. So that they’re in their natural resting state: together. “Hey. You don’t ever need to be afraid of telling us when something’s going on with you, okay? No matter what it is, what’s going on with the rest of us, or if you think it isn’t a good time. We’ll always make time to help you. You’re our _family,_ Alex. You’re our shining star.”

Alex, clearly on the verge of breaking down, tries to salvage the situation by joking: “I thought that was Julie.” 

“Oh, you’re right. My mistake!” Luke shoots Julie an obnoxious wink, and Julie fondly rolls her eyes at him. “You’re our moon then.” 

“That’s dumb,” Alex argues, sniffing suspiciously. “You’re the moon. I’m just an asteroid.” 

“Yeah, you’re an asteroid,” Reggie says, “and you’ve left a huge crater in our hearts forever and ever.” 

Alex laughs helplessly, and with his arms still around Reggie, leans down to push his forehead against Luke’s. Luke’s face goes from humored to devastated in a split second, and he pushes into the fond gesture, tucks Reggie even tighter against his side like he’s barely holding it together. It’s a scene that’s too intimate for Julie and Flynn to be witnessing, let alone this hallway and _the entire student body_ inside of it. She desperately wants to shield the boys from their prying eyes, to keep this sacred moment between them and them alone; instead, she stands next to them and dares anyone walking by to try and say something. Instead, she acts as their knight in shining armor, hovers near them protectively, and thinks: _you are my blood and bones and lifelines and I will never let someone hurt you again._

After a few more deep breaths, Luke requests: “Will you tell us what happened?” while looking unflinchingly into Alex’s broken expression. 

Reggie doesn’t let go, but he does lean back until he can look at Alex, too. “We want to hear everything. And we want to do whatever we can to help.” 

Alex says nothing, like he can’t bring himself to admit this great and terrible truth that only Julie knows, that only Julie was present for the aftermath of. He seeks her out over the tops of Luke’s and Reggie’s heads, and she nods encouragingly, even though her heart is splintering inside of her chest.

“My parents,” he eventually admits, inhaling unsteadily. “They’ve been really aggressive and shitty towards me lately. Everything I do is wrong and not good enough and shameful. And I don’t really know what was different about last night, but I just got this _feeling_ that something was going to go wrong after I left Julie’s _._ I was… I was really scared they were going to kick me out. So I just didn’t go home.” 

The truth makes Luke and Reggie look so livid and destroyed that Julie has to close her eyes against it, just for a moment. Next to her, Flynn releases a strangled gasp, understanding what this situation is in full; when she slides her hand into Julie’s, both out of support and her own desolation, Julie holds on tight enough to bruise.

Luke asks, voice thin with rage: “Did they say anything?”

“Nothing. Not last night, not this morning. Absolutely nothing.” 

Reggie looks like he might throw up. “Are you going back there?” 

“I don’t know.” Alex’s hands start to shake. The memory of him sobbing and trembling everywhere punches Julie right in the gut. “I have to eventually. I don’t even know for sure if they’re going to kick me out. But Ray said I can stay with them again if I don’t feel safe enough to go home, so it doesn’t have to happen tonight.” 

At the mention of her dad, both Luke and Reggie turn to Julie. Reggie asks her: “Your dad really was cool with it?” 

“Of course,” she affirms, entirely sure about this fact if nothing else when it comes to these three and their compromised safety. “He wasn’t going to let Alex go home if there was any chance that he was in danger there, and neither was I. Alex can stay with us as long as he needs or wants to if it means that he’ll be safe.” 

All of them go a little wonderstruck when Julie says this, says it like it’s common sense, says it like it’s unquestionable. For her, it always has been, and she has to remind herself over and over that the boys have probably never known unconditional love or safety in their entire lives. That they might be surprised by being treated with kindness and love until the day they die. 

There are a million words that she wants to say to them, but before she’s able to, the five minute warning bell rings. Students all around them scamper off to their first class of the day, and Julie wants to stay and talk to the guys, tell them all one million words of love and support she has, but she reminds herself that she has time, that they’re always going to need these words of love and support, and makes herself let it go for now. 

“We’ll continue this at lunch,” Alex decides, already tucking his vulnerability back underneath his practiced calm. “Deal?” 

Luke looks extremely unhappy about this. “Fine. But if you need to leave or your parents try to start something, text one of us and we’ll come find you. Promise?” 

“I promise.” Alex curls his pinkie around Luke’s when Luke holds it up. “Thanks. I love you guys.” 

He crushes Luke and Reggie into another big, two-armed hug, and they hug him back, mumbling their “I love you too”s into his shoulders. Julie and Flynn are both surprised when Alex, after detaching himself from his best friends, also pulls Flynn into a hug and says: “Thanks for escorting me today.” 

Flynn returns the hug with wide but warm eyes. “Any time, bro.”

And before he goes, Alex sweeps Julie into an enormous hug, one that does take her off of her feet and into his arms. It works a laugh out of her, her first of the day, and she hugs back like she’s trying to leave an imprint of herself in his bones and muscles, even though they are blood now and will be for the rest of their lives. 

“Thank you, thank you,” Alex whispers to her. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you, too.” 

Alex sets her down and then gallops down the hall to his first period, and as she watches him go, Julie’s broken heart starts to stitch itself back together. Flynn is still mildly stunned when she says: “I’ll see you in second period,” and takes off for her first class, fistbumping the other two on her way. 

Luke and Reggie are obviously not in the mood for attending class (or being anywhere that is more than two feet away from Alex Mercer) but Reggie tries to talk them both into it. 

“I guess we’ll just have to figure it out as we go. There’s no use in agonizing over it right now. Alex is good and that’s all that we need to worry about until lunch.” 

Luke grudgingly replies, “Yeah, I know. Let’s think of Plan B, though, just in case Alex’s plan is A for ass or is self-sacrificing.” 

“Sounds good.” Reggie affectionately bumps arms with him. “See you later, alligator.” 

“See ya, croc.” 

Reggie starts to leave for his first period, then changes his mind, spinning on his heel to face Julie. He lopes back a few steps to where she’s still standing, and says: “You are the light of my life, Julie Molina,” before pressing a loud kiss to her forehead and venturing off to class for real. It’s meant to make Julie laugh, but instead makes her want to cry and cry and cry. 

The one minute warning bell rings, and while Julie’s class is right up the hall, Luke is going to have to run to make it to his. But he still takes the time to wrap his arms around her, and she does the same to him, trying to provide any comfort that she can for them both. 

“Thank you for keeping him safe,” Luke says, with an undercurrent of terror. “And thanks for everything you do for us. I hope you know that you’re our family, too, even if I made it sound like I was just talking about the three of us. You’re our bright, beautiful, shining star.” 

Julie feels like she might split apart from how much she absolutely and completely loves these three boys. “You’re all my family, too. I told Alex as much last night, and I’ll say it as many times as I need to. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you all safe.” 

Luke embraces her, tight enough that she fears they’ll both detonate like a pair of starbursts, and then he’s sprinting off, yelling: “See you at lunch, Jules!” over his shoulder. She watches until he’s completely out of sight, and then trudges to first period English, trying her best not to go find Alex and plant herself at his side, or convince Reggie to sneak into a practice room with her to hide from everyone else, or throw herself back into Luke’s arms and weep until she physically can’t anymore. 

**_~.~.~_ **

At lunch, Alex decides that he’s going to go home after school and see what happens. Luke and Reggie are vocally against this decision, and Flynn recommends that Alex err on the side of caution, but Julie sees where he’s coming from, even though the idea of it makes her feel dizzy. He has to know once and for all if the relationship is going to be severed, has to know if there are any chances left for his parents to accept him in all his different identities and pieces. 

“I don’t like it, but I understand it,” Julie says to him. “I know you need to know. So go home tonight and figure out what the final say is, and if it goes south, I want you to call me and I’ll come pick you up. My dad and I will shove as much of your stuff as we can into the car and then we’ll take back to our house and go from there. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Alex agrees, looking a little green, but also determined. “I’ll keep you guys updated.” 

Luke begins to push the issue further, but Flynn touches his arm, a silent warning that he’s lost this fight and needs to accept it before it gets ugly. 

“The very second,” he demands instead, taking both of Alex’s hands across the table, “the _very second_ that you start to feel unsafe or they kick you out, I want you to call me or Reg first, and then you call Julie. We’ll come over and make sure your parents don’t pull anything, and while we’re waiting for Julie and Ray, we’ll take as much of your stuff as we can carry and go to my house or something. I know Julie’s got the car, but we’re right around the corner from you, and you might need to go somewhere safe before she can get over there. Got it?” 

“Got it.” 

Julie keeps her expression as neutral as possible during this interaction. But inside, where no one else can see or hear her screaming at the thought of Alex going home, she speaks to her mother. _Mama, I know I ask you for favors all the time, but I’ll give them all up if you can keep him safe for me. Just for tonight. Keep their hands off of him._

**_~.~.~_ **

She hears absolutely nothing else for the rest of the day, and then walks home by herself for the first time in what feels like years. Julie’s able to meet up with the boys one more time, right after school ends, and give them all another enormous, crushing hug. But then she has to watch them walk down the street towards their houses, instead of hers, as far away from Julie as they can possibly get. She has to watch her family walk away, and then she has to walk away, back towards the rest of her family, and it’s a pain she thought she would never have to experience again. A pain that buries itself under her ribs and digs in further every step away from them she takes. 

At home, she does half of her homework before giving up, and only glances at the studio before knowing that she won’t get any work done in there, either. She resigns herself to a long, exhausting evening of sitting on the couch and checking her phone every five minutes to see if the guys have called or texted her. They don’t come over every single night, but they’re over more often than they aren’t; the living room feels empty without Reggie sprawled across the couch and Julie’s lap, waxing poetic about _Star Wars,_ or Luke and Carlos playing a ridiculously competitive game of _Guess Who?_ on the coffee table, or Alex and Flynn gushing about their favorite songs to get down to and then showing them off for the group. Carlos and her dad are at baseball practice, and Victoria is out doing dinner and shopping with a group of friends tonight, so Julie is completely alone with her thoughts. 

At one point, while she’s pretending to watch _How I Met Your Mother_ reruns, her phone pings with a new text. Her heart lurches, and she grabs her phone so violently that she almost sends it skittering across the floor. Her heart sinks back down when she sees it’s just from her dad. It reads: _Are the boys coming over tonight?_ and Julie stupidly feels her eyes well with tears, can barely see through them enough to reply: _No, it’s just us three._

Her dad notices right away when he and Carlos get home, bringing bags full of Japanese takeout with them. Ray got an obscene amount of edamame, and Julie’s favorite beef udon, but all she does is pick at it, absolutely miserable with worry. 

“Hey,” Ray eventually says, not accusingly. They’re putting the leftovers into the fridge together, and he makes sure to keep his voice soft so that Carlos won’t overhear. “You’re being kind of quiet tonight. Is everything okay?”

She thinks about shrugging it off, wishes she could rid herself of this mounting dread and have a nice, relaxing evening with her dad and brother. But all she can think about is the three empty places at the table that have been filled for weeks now, that are empty tonight for the worst reason possible, and can’t bring herself to lie or play it down. 

“Alex decided to go home tonight,” she admits, leaning up against the island. “He said he would call if something happened, but I can’t stop worrying about him. What if he’s not able to call me? What if they took his phone away or something? How would I know if he needed my help?” 

Ray’s face changes, from supportive to concerned, but he tries to hide it from her as best as he can. Julie sees it like a neon sign, and anxiety fills her up like a sharp, burning poison. 

“I’m sure he’s okay, honey. Alex is smart, he knows when a situation is going downhill and how to get out of it. I’m assuming you or Alex caught the other two up today?” 

“Yeah, before school started.”

“And did you make a plan?” 

“Alex is going to call Luke or Reggie if something happens, so they can get him out of there, and then he’ll call us up to come pick him up. I told him we’d take as much of his stuff as we could and bring him back here to come up with a new plan.” 

“Good. That’s a really good plan. Even if Alex can’t use a phone, he’ll still get out of there and go to Luke and Reggie, and then they can call us. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, okay? I’m sure he’s doing just fine if you haven’t gotten a message yet.” 

Ray looks about as convinced as Julie feels, but the sentiment is nice, and Julie knows that she needs to focus on calming down or she’ll end up going to Alex’s house with or without his cry for help. She vows to text him when she’s done talking to her dad, just to check in, and then work on distracting herself for the rest of the night. 

“You’re right—I’m sure he’s just fine. I’m gonna text him and check in so I can stop freaking out so much.” 

She texts Alex around twenty minutes later and is rewarded by him texting back almost immediately. The message says: _i’m good!!! they were just mad about my chem and math grades!!! thanks for everything again!!!!!!!!_ with approximately one hundred heart and smiley face emojis after it, and even though Julie is still pissed that they pushed him to the point of breaking down and being afraid to go home, she’s still relieved that they didn’t kick him out. 

She finds her dad at his desk in the living room and lets him know that Alex is safe. 

“That’s great,” Ray replies, and Julie sees his shoulders relax, like they’ve been rigid since the second she brought Alex up. “I’m glad to hear it. But we’ll still get him if he needs us to, no matter the time.” 

“Yeah, I let him know. He said thanks.” 

“He doesn’t need to thank us.” Ray turns away from his laptop to face Julie fully, so that she can see how serious he is. “If any of the boys ever feel like they can’t go home, or they don’t want to, they can stay here. They don’t even need to give me a reason. The guest room is always open to them, no matter what or when or why.” 

“I’ll tell them. They already heard it from me at lunch today, but maybe hearing it from you will convince them to ask for help when they need it.” Julie drags a hand down her face, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and serrated. “I hate this, _papi._ I hate not knowing if Alex is safe, or Luke or Reggie. _They_ don’t even know from day to day if they’ll get to go home and be safe. No one should have to live like that.”

Ray sighs, and then draws Julie to him, holds her like she’s five years old again and still scared of the dark. Julie lets herself be scared, lets herself rest her head on her dad’s shoulder and not be brave for a few moments.

“I know, I know, me too,” he confesses, hushed, like he’ll break them both if he says it any louder. “It’s horrible. There’s no greater evil than a parent who hurts their child, who causes their pain instead of protecting them from it. I’ll never be able to understand it. But the boys know more about their situations than we do, and we just need to focus on what we can do right now to help them. Telling them that this is a safe space is a good start. Letting them know that they can call us and we’ll come and help is a good start, too. We’ll show them that they’re safe whenever they’re here, and if it escalates into them staying with us for a while, we’ll work through that together. But it sounds like all of them are fine for right now, so we’re going to take this day by day, just like them. Sound good?” 

“Okay. Day by day.” 

Ray holds out his finger, so Julie holds hers out, too, until they’re curled around each other in their secret handshake. It reminds her of Luke making Alex pinkie promise to reach out if he needed one of them, swear that he was going to be fine going home that night. The thought eats Julie up inside, knowing that the three of them have only known some sort of stability for a few short months, only found some stability when they accidentally crashed into her’s and her family’s lives. 

“I love them,” she professes. “It hurts because I love them so much. I’d give _anything_ to be able to help them through this.” 

Ray drops a kiss onto her head. “You already have, _mija._ You’ve given them love and somewhere safe to go. You’ve given them the two things every human being needs to survive. You’ve done more for them than anyone else in their lives, besides each other—you’re their guardian angel, Julie.” 

Julie closes her eyes. “And they’re mine.” 

_We are all each other’s sun,_ she thinks, clinging to her dad. _I’ve given them the warmth and they’ve given me the light._

 **_~.~.~_ **

Julie makes a point of telling the boys that her dad specifically gave the green light for them to stay over whenever they wanted or needed to. But Ray also makes sure to tell them himself, just in case they need further convincing. 

The night following the one where Alex goes home again, they come over as usual to hang out and eat dinner, tilting Julie’s world back onto its proper axis. They’re having tacos, and when Ray calls them all into the kitchen to make their plates, he casually announces: 

“Boys, I just wanted to let you all know that you’re welcome to stay with us anytime you need to. No questions asked, no worrying necessary.” 

This makes the guys stop short; Reggie, who is holding the spoon for the salsa, turns to stare at Ray in awe. Alex and Luke, who were in the process of thanking Ray for dinner, break off into silence and look at him like they suspect this is all an elaborate joke. Ray glances between the three of them and takes in their bewildered expressions with a small laugh.

“Hey, don’t look too shocked. You kids are already here so much, that invitation might as well extend to staying the night.” 

“Are you—” Reggie starts, then pauses again, nonplussed. “Are you _sure?”_

Ray must have prepared himself for this reaction, because Julie has been on the other end of it already and it turned her into an absolute mess. She’s probably the only one who sees his expression turn a little forlorn at Reggie’s unconvinced inquiry and Alex’s and Luke’s unconvinced staring. 

“Of course. I always want you boys to feel like you have a place to go where you’re safe and accepted. I have no problem with that being our house. You can always stay in the guest room, or in the extra guest rooms in the basement, or even out in the studio. You’re welcome here anytime and any night.” 

They don’t say anything for a minute, clearly waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under them. Alex is the first one who manages to recover from Ray’s invitation, and gives him a hushed but heartfelt: “Thanks, Ray. That really means a lot to us.”

“Yeah,” Luke rushes to add. “We, uh—we really appreciate it. And everything else you guys do for us. We’re super grateful.” 

He winces as he says this, but Julie knows exactly what Luke means. The boys are grateful beyond words that could express just how deeply their gratitude runs. The boys are still trying to find the balance between being appreciative and overwhelming in their gratitude, are still trying to decide how many times they can thank Ray for taking care of them before Ray gets tired of taking care of them and demands they get out of the house. 

It’s clear that there are all sorts of things the boys want to tell Ray, but have no idea where to begin. Reggie tries, sets the salsa spoon down and turns to Ray with a fierce expression that is equal parts fear and love, and tries to find the words. 

“Thank you for giving us a place to feel safe in. None of us have ever really had that before, so we’re still getting used to the idea of that existing for us now. We’re not too good at letting other people in since we’ve been on our own for so long.” 

Ray lets out a long breath, like he might start swearing loudly, or like he’s on the edge of completely losing it, the same that Julie has been feeling for three nights in a row. But all he does is tell them: 

“Well, now you do. Never be afraid to stay here or ask for help here. You’re our family.” 

The boys all stiffen abruptly, like they, too, are on the edge of completely losing it. Ray gives them some space to process and goes to collect Carlos. 

Julie, from behind Alex and Luke, clears her throat. “So, we’re all on the same page now, right?” 

They all turn to her, faces a collective portrait of disbelief, longing, and adoration. She smiles sweetly, and Luke leans into her side, like he meant to hip-check her and forgot to follow through on the checking part. 

“Yeah,” he rasps, a thousand variations of broken and put back together. “Yeah, we’re on the same page, Molina.” 

**_~.~.~_ **

After dinner is finished, the group flocks to the living room to watch an episode of _The Umbrella Academy_ before movie time. Julie realizes, as they’re pulling the show up, that Reggie went into the kitchen a few minutes ago and never came back out. 

“I’m gonna get a drink,” she says, passing the remote to Luke. “Anyone want anything?” 

She gets a responding chorus of negatives, and goes to the kitchen to hunt Reggie down. And if she happens to grab a drink after finding him, then it will be a successful trip in multiple ways. 

Julie does find Reggie in the kitchen, which is a relief—but she also finds her dad in the kitchen, and finds that the two of them are washing some of the leftover dishes together. She guesses that Reggie must have felt bad about Ray doing them, even though it’s his night to do dishes, but then she hears Ray and Reggie laugh together, and guesses it probably goes a little bit deeper than that. 

She hides behind the banister of the staircase and watches as Ray washes and Reggie dries. 

“I’ve tried making things on my own,” Reggie says, continuing their conversation, “but I’ve never really been taught how to cook or make something that didn’t come from a box, so none of it ever turns out.” 

“I’ve been cooking and experimenting with food since I was teenager. I’m sorry you haven’t really had the opportunity to do the same.” Julie knows that Ray means this in a friendly way, not as a reminder that Reggie’s parents are less than stellar. “If you ever want to learn the basics, or get started with cooking, you’re always welcome to help me make dinner. It’s up to you.” 

Reggie stops drying the plate in his hands and turns to Ray, shocked once more. “Really? It wouldn’t be annoying?” 

“Of course not. Besides, maybe it’ll get me out of having to cook a few nights a week once you get good enough, huh?” 

He pairs this last part with a gentle elbow in Reggie’s side, and Reggie beams so brilliantly that it fills Julie’s lungs with sunlight. 

“I would love that!” Reggie enthuses. “I’d love to help you out with dinner!”

She watches them for a little while longer, wanting to give them some time before grabbing a drink and pulling Reggie away. She watches as Ray continues to wash, and Reggie continues to dry, and thinks with a sudden ferocity: _I wish you could all stay here with me forever._

**_~.~.~_ **

Julie’s starting to suspect, though he never says it out loud, that Ray wants the exact same thing. He doesn’t say _stay with us,_ but he does say _you’re welcome here anytime_ and _Reggie is my new cooking protégé_ and _the music you kids make together breathed a new life into this house._ He doesn’t say _you’re my sons_ but he does say _you’re our family_ and it’s nearly the same thing, anyways. 

Ray checks in with Alex frequently following the night he spent with them. Each time that he does, Alex promises that there hasn’t been an escalation since that night, and that his parents really were just getting on him about his grades. Ray makes sure that Alex knows he can stay with them whenever he needs to, that they’ll still come and pick him up if things get out of hand, and Alex always promises that he remembers and will follow through if it comes to that.

Ray gets a huge kick out of cooking with Reggie. While the rest of them are doing homework at the table, or playing games in the living room, Julie will listen to Ray direct him on the basics of cooking and Reggie will cling to every word with a rapture that he normally saves for music. At first, she thought it was mostly a way for Reggie to get some parental interaction and support, but the more time that Reggie spends learning how to prepare food with Ray, the more Julie realizes that food is actually another great passion of his, just like music and _Star Wars_ and reading gargantuan sci-fi and fantasy books. It’s something that he loves deeply, and doing it with Ray, who also loves cooking deeply, makes the whole learning experience even more precious to him. And every time that Reggie does something right and gets super excited about it, Ray grins at him the same way he grins at Julie when she shows off a new song, or Carlos gets a hit during a game. 

And with Luke, of course, it’s all about music. Her dad owns an expansive record collection and a beautiful turntable to match, and Luke has spent several nights at their house just talking about different albums that Ray owns and concerts he’s been to and how he came to acquire his record collection in the first place. Luke gushes about Ray’s taste in artists like Jimi Hendrix and Santana and The Doors, and Ray says that he can hear inspiration from them in Luke’s playing, which makes Luke look like he could burst from pride. It also makes Ray look like he could burst with pride, and it makes Julie feel like she could burst from a visceral need to make the boys a permanent addition to their household. 

Julie sees this greatest desire of hers flickering across Ray’s face every time Alex promises to reach out if he needs help, every time Reggie excitedly bounds into the kitchen to help him prepare dinner, every time Luke lights up when Ray compliments his songwriting. She sees it every single time and tries to make herself ask if the boys can stay with them, if there’s anything else they can do but support from the sidelines and hope and pray nothing goes wrong in the meantime. But Julie doesn’t know if Ray is ready to embrace such a huge addition to their immediate family when it feels like they _just_ lost such a huge piece of it. Julie doesn’t know if she can ever ask him to love these three boys without it ruining him completely. So she doesn’t, and tries to focus her energy into making Ray realize that the boys belong with the Molinas permanently all on his own. 

**_~.~.~_ **

One night, while they’re all out in the studio and tinkering around with different pieces of songs, Julie asks: 

“What’s your greatest source of inspiration?” 

She’s bent backwards over the arm of her chair, so that she’s viewing the boys upside-down. They look up at the question, and when they see her resting pose, Alex bursts out laughing, Luke says: “Julie, how in the hell is that even comfortable?” and Reggie tries to mirror her while still standing up, bends almost in half to his left and over his bass. 

“I’m trying to Hiro it up over here,” she explains, not moving. “You know? Like in _Big Hero 6,_ when Tadashi picks him up and shakes him around? Unfortunately, I cannot do the shaking part, but I can do the brain reset part.” 

“If you want to be shaken up—” Alex offers, getting halfway off of his stool, but Julie yells: 

“Absolutely not! You’ll snap me in half if you do that, Beefcake.” 

Luke gives her an unimpressed look. “Alex would rather walk into the ocean than accidentally step on a bug.” 

“I didn’t say he would do it on purpose, just that he doesn’t know his own strength. He’s like a Great Dane.” Julie points accusingly at them. “And you’re ignoring my very important question! What’s your greatest source of inspiration?” 

“Humanity,” Luke finally replies, after thinking it over. “We are all connected to each other in an endless tangle of red strings. We all create a Butterfly Effect for each other. Music makes me feel connected to all of those red strings and like my contribution to the Butterfly Effect will be a good one. And, you know—humanity created art, and created human suffering, and music gives me the outlet I need to explore both of those concepts.” 

Julie has to try a few times to think of what to respond with. “Luke, I know I don’t say this nearly often enough, but you are a very thoughtful and intelligent person, and I’m honored to be part of your inner circle. And to get to work directly with your exploration of humanity.” 

Luke turns a nice shade of fuchsia when Julie says this, and looks like he might implode trying to think up something to say back, so she takes pity on him by pointing to Alex. 

“What about you, Scooby Doo?” 

He pretends to be offended by the nickname. “Well, I’m definitely not inspired by your rudeness.” 

“I’m not being rude! I’m being pragmatic.” 

“You’re really not,” he insists, but obligingly answers. “Well, at first, my inspiration for making music came from a very, very desperate need to find something that calmed me down during high volumes of anxiety and hopeless despair. I’m sure you all know that I’m prone to both of these on occasion.”

“‘Occasion,’” Reggie repeats, including air quotes. 

Alex sticks his tongue out at him. “But then it became less about control and more about escapism, about falling into something that brought me joy and purpose in my darkest moments. So I would say that now my biggest inspiration is making something of myself through music. Playing with you guys and playing to make it big makes me feel like I can become more than what I’ve been told I am my whole life, which is next to nothing.” 

He says this last bit so casually, so _factually,_ that Julie nearly leaps from her chair and to Alex’s side to embrace him. But he says it to be honest, not to ask for help, so she just tells him: “Well, you’re everything to us, so I would consider it mission accomplished,” while digging her nails into her palms. Someday, when she knows she can get away with it, she is going to find the Mercers and strike them from the Earth and into the pits of Hell where they belong. 

Luke’s face reflects this sentiment when he leans over the snare drum and into Alex’s space. “Yeah, buddy. You’re a priceless asset to this team of ours. And we’re going all the way to the top.” 

Alex grins at him, pleased and adoring, and Luke reaches out to ruffle his hair.

And lastly, Julie turns to Reggie. “What about you? What inspires Reginald Peters to play an absolutely gnarly tune on the bass?” 

She believes that Reggie could go either way with this question, could either profess his desire to touch lives and souls with his music, or profess his desperate longing to make a name for himself, a name that belongs to him and was created by him and their band and no one else. Everything filters across his considering face, all of these choices and truths, but then he exclaims: 

“Honestly? That Chinese food Ray bought us for dinner.” 

Julie chokes a little. _“What?”_

“God, that orange chicken was diviiiineeee,” Reggie sings, adding a bass riff to it. “It makes me want to write a real Grammy winner—the next stadium song, if you will. Like _Centuries_ by Fall Out Boy.” 

The laugh that suddenly explodes from Julie fills the entire studio, a sound that is completely involuntary but so full of delight that it makes the boys start laughing, too. She has to shut her eyes for a moment, just to laugh and laugh and let it all out, this euphonious, radiant joy. And when she cracks them back open, she sees Alex draped over his tom-tom drum and clutching his gut, and sees Luke with his arms around Reggie’s sides, laughing so hard that he’s not making any noise at all. 

“I don’t know what I was expecting,” Julie eventually gasps, a wonderful ache settling in her ribs. “But it should have been exactly that.” 

“I can’t help it,” Reggie shrugs; he’s got his arms around Luke’s sides in a perfect mirror, and the sight of it makes her laugh again. “Nothing inspires me more than a killer order of orange chicken and fried rice. Nothing makes me want to compose a gorgeous piece of music quite like the crunchy, deep fried deliciousness of a crab rangoon.” 

“You are unbelievable,” Alex responds, wiping his eyes. “Friends since kindergarten and I’m still totally surprised by the things you say sometimes.” 

“You definitely keep us on our toes,” Luke agrees. “You keep us sharp. A very necessary skill when it comes to writing music.” 

Reggie looks absolutely ecstatic when the boys say this, so Julie has no choice but to add: 

“You deeply inspire us with your poignant devotion to Chinese food. Our lives and music would be unbearably dull without you there to keep things interesting. Thank you and God bless.” 

“Thanks, guys,” Reggie says, his smile blinding. “That makes me feel like a million dollars.” 

Luke turns to Julie then. “And what about you, Julie? What inspires you?” 

Julie, for the first time in her entire life, doesn’t have to ponder the answer to this question. Her passion for music was born from a main source, and the inspiration to write her own music still comes from the same place, even after all of this time. It’s her driving purpose in all aspects of her life, the thing that got her to where she is now and helped her to fight through her mother's passing and the Purgatory that followed afterwards. 

It’s the greatest thing she’s ever felt; it’s what she feels every time she wakes up in the morning and remembers all of the wonderful people in her life. It’s what she feels every time she steps into this studio and knows her three guardian angels are there to make music with her. 

“Love,” she reveals, looking at all three of them pointedly. “Love is the reason for everything I do.” 

There’s a pause where she stares at them and they stare back, suspended in a silence that is overflowing with the love Julie speaks so highly of. And then Luke and Reggie are setting their instruments down and bounding over to her, and Alex is coming around the side of his drum set, and she finds herself in the midst of an enormous group hug, one that Luke and Reggie pull her into and Alex completes.

“You’re so cute,” Alex cooes; he’s got one arm wrapped around her neck, and his free hand is softly pinching her cheek. “Everything you say makes me want to scream.” 

“Stop!” Julie pleads, but she’s laughing even harder now, hard enough that her attempt to bat his hand away is feeble at best. “I’m not trying to be cute—I’m trying to be poetic!”

“You’re adorable,” Reggie insists; he’s hugging her shoulders from behind, and even goes as far as to smush the cheek that Alex isn’t pinching against his own. “You’re so cute I can hardly stand it sometimes!” 

Julie sees Luke gearing up to say his own piece, and shoves a hand over his mouth. “Don’t you dare, Patterson.” 

Luke unwinds one of his arms from around her side to pull her hand down, trap it against his steadily beating heart. “Julie, you are the cutest human being alive. Nothing you say or do will ever change this fact, so get used to hearing it.” 

She slumps back into Reggie, accepting defeat almost immediately, accepting that this is not a fight worth having or one that she wants to have at all. 

“Fine. But I’m poetic, too.” 

“The most poetic,” Alex acknowledges. 

Reggie giggles and gives her a tight squeeze. “You’re a poet and totally know it.” 

“The greatest poet of all time,” Luke announces grandly, giving her hand a similarly tight squeeze. “One who can take the words right out of my heart and put them on paper or sheet music.” 

Julie pats his chest, pushes her cheek firmly into Reggie’s, and slides her fingers between Alex’s. “Well, a poet is no good without their muse.” 

“And the muses are no good without their poet, the one person who understands them perfectly,” Luke returns, and Julie feels love light her up from the inside out, like a phoenix catching fire and being reborn from the ashes, stronger than before.

**_~.~.~_ **

Julie almost says it a few nights later. The boys come over for homework, lasagna, and a very enthusiastic viewing of _Monsters Inc_ , and when 10:30 rolls around, when they have to exit the house, Julie almost says: _Please stay and don’t ever leave again._

She almost says it when Alex, her cuddle buddy of choice, carefully separates their arms and legs from each other and gets off the couch. Julie watches him stretch and then watches as he begins to shove his belongings into his backpack, a very slight frown pulling down the corners of his mouth. Alex looks like he’s taking his sweet time, like he’s trying to pack up as slowly as possible, and Julie wants to tell him to stop and sit back down more than anything.

She almost says it when Luke, in lieu of hugging her goodbye, just tiredly slumps against her and hopes (demands) that Julie will hold him up. He whines about showering, and Julie makes a big deal of saying that he’s gross and needs to shower twice a day at least, but she hears what lies right beneath the surface of his words. He says, “I would sell my left foot to never have to shower again,” and Julie hears, “I would give anything in the world to stay right where I am.” 

She comes the closest she’s ever come to saying it when she sees the boys to the front door. Luke stops to give her a real hug, and so does Alex, and then they’re heading up the driveway. Reggie hesitates in the doorway, though, not immediately turning to follow after them. 

“What’s up, Reg?” Julie asks. She’s holding onto the door handle tight enough to snap it right off, so she won’t reach out and haul Reggie back inside forever. “Did you forget something?” 

His mouth opens and closes in quick succession, like he wanted to say something important but can’t remember what it is anymore. Reggie looks behind her, back into the living room, back into the place where they all just spent hours in a pile laughing at Mike and Sulley and each other. Julie sees his hands twist together, the way they do whenever Reggie is starting to fill with nervous energy, and then she sees a familiar emotion spread across his face: a terrible and desperate _longing._

 _Stay,_ she silently cries, _stay stay stay—_

“No,” Reggie finally admits, letting out a deep sigh. “Nah, I didn’t forget anything. I thought I might have.” 

Just like with Luke, Julie hears everything Reggie doesn’t tell her. He says, “I didn’t forget anything,” and Julie hears, “Every night I forget that I don’t live here, and I have to go home and pretend I do.” 

She tries one more time, tries to get Reggie to ask what she still can’t bring herself to. “Are you sure?” 

Reggie stares down at her for a moment, mouth working again, like he might help them both out and ask to stay the night. But then he just smiles, loving but melancholic at its core, and says: “Yeah, I’m sure.” 

“Okay. You know the drill—”

“—Get home safe and text you when I’m there, yes, I know the drill, Jules.” 

She smiles back, unconcerned with being called out. “Let the other two know.” 

“Yes ma’am, I surely will.” Reggie gives her his goodnight hug, and Julie tries not to break anything when she hugs him back, tries not to make it obvious how much she hates the thought of him walking away from her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” 

“See you tomorrow,” she replies, and stands in the doorway as Reggie walks up the driveway to meet Alex and Luke, stands in the doorway as he gets farther and farther away from her, stands in the doorway long after they’re gone and wonders what the boys would say if she ran after them and told them to come back and fill all of the empty rooms in their house. 

Carlos eventually comes and finds her, bundled into his pajamas and looking slightly concerned. 

“Julie, why are you just standing there with the door open?” 

She snaps out of it, turning to face her brother. “Oh—I was just getting some fresh air.” 

Julie closes the door, trying to ignore the painful twist in her sternum as she does; where Carlos would normally say something sassy about her odd behavior and depart, he instead glances at the door, then back to Julie’s sullen expression, and asks: 

“Wanna come watch Markiplier with me until Dad catches us and makes me go to bed?” 

And while Julie’s other brothers are gone and have taken her heart with them, she knows that she will always have Carlos by her side to ease the pain of their absence, that he is an unwavering and eternal anchor in her life, and that she loves him just as desperately and wildly as she loves the other three. 

“Let’s go!” she agrees at a whisper, and the two of them sneak off to Julie’s room to watch Markiplier videos, as many as they can manage before Ray comes to (rightfully) break up their party. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welllllll i hope that was okay!!!! again i'm so sorry if this was a$$ but i promise that i have the next chapters planned out a lot better and in a way that makes me more excited to write them so i anticipate the groove coming back!!! thank you so much for reading and i'm gonna try my best not to make the wait between chapters so long this time!!! :^) also just a reminder that [my tumblr inbox](http://bodhirookes.tumblr.com/ask) is always open if u want to discuss why reggie is extremely good at school but extremely terrible at picking up social cues


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had to do it to 'em (you'll know exactly what i'm talking about when you read the line)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy everyone!!!!!! long time no see lmfaoooo sorry about the long update time again, i'm still going through kind of a rough patch with my writing and i think i'm starting to just accept it and go with the flow!! so i can't make any promises about the next chapters being up any sooner than this one, but i can say that the upcoming chapters are going to be jam-packed with platonic touchy-feelys and canoodling and lovin' and it's gonna be a great time!!! as you can also see, i did bump the chapter count up to 6 and i think it's really going to stay there this time, i have exactly 6 main plot points left that i want to write and i like to do 2 per ch so i don't think it'll change again. there maybe a chapter or two that's longer than the other ones but i'm sure no one is going to be mad about that lol!! so yeah, i'm sorry about the couple of weeks in between updates but i think this chapter came out pretty well and i'm happy with my progress on this story!! i hope that you all continue to enjoy the content i'm putting out, and thank you to the anons who have left amazing messages on tumblr for me and all of you lovely readers for your kudos and comments. i'm honestly so fucking amazed by the reaction this fic has gotten so far and you all make the hardship of writer's block worth it when i'm able to push through and write for these characters and receive such warm and kind responses on it. thank you thank you all so much for the support and the wonderful comments i've received for rise through the night :"))))) they mean more to me than words could ever say. 
> 
> and now onto the chapter!!!! there are no real tws for this chapter, just the continued discussions of child neglect and the boys' parents being asshats. once more, not beta'd so all mistakes are my own!!! :-)

The only member of the Molina family that the boys are still slightly apprehensive around is, hilariously, her _tía._ She’s like the walking embodiment of a warm hug, but they’ve only interacted with her a few times on the weekends or when she swings by to drop food off. Julie suspects, based on their startled expressions and their sudden shyness whenever her _tía_ visits, that the boys are afraid she’ll look at them one day and tell them to beat it, tell them to leave her family alone and stop hanging around so much. 

In actuality, Victoria hardly bats an eye when Julie starts hanging out with the guys, and bats even less of an eye when she starts to piece together why they’re over so much. And when the two of them go out for lunch one Saturday afternoon, Julie lays it all out, explains their situations and that she wants to be the one to help them through it, and Victoria echoes Ray’s sentiments about Julie being their guardian angel. She says that she thinks it’s wonderful that the boys and Julie have all found each other at just the right times in their lives, and promises to bring extra food over for them whenever she stops by. 

So Julie’s pretty sure that the boys are the only ones who think Victoria isn’t fond of them, but doesn’t know how to bring it up without sounding like an overbearing parent. And then Victoria comes over for burgers one night and takes care of it herself, all-knowing in the way that most aunts are. 

Julie is in the living room with the boys (sans Reggie, who is learning about the finer points of grilling with Ray), and Flynn, and they’re in the midst of watching Carlos and Luke try to beat a difficult level of _Luigi’s Mansion 3_ together _._

“Luke,” Carlos says, surprisingly calm despite the jam that Luke’s failures have gotten them into. “You need to pull the ghost to the left when you’re trying to suck him up.” 

“Oh, like this?”

Carlos sighs, sounding much older than a fifth grader ever should. “Your other left, dude.” 

“Whoops.” 

Julie, Flynn, and Alex have been laughing for the better part of fifteen minutes, Flynn’s legs across their laps and Alex’s arm around Julie’s shoulders. The other two are sitting on the ground in front of them, just like with _Mario Kart,_ just like with the dozens of other games they’ve played in the living room, and Julie can’t resist the urge to reach out and tweak Luke’s ear. 

“Hey, Peppermint Patty, maybe you should just stop playing Nintendo games all together.” 

“Please do not ever call me that again,” Luke replies pleasantly. “Oh sh—oot, I thought I had it that time.” 

Luke did not, in fact, have the ghost that time, or any time before that, and Carlos is the one who ends up finishing the level. When the ghost is completely sucked up and Luigi and Gooigi are celebrating their win, Carlos turns to Luke and puts an amicable hand on his shoulder. 

“You’ll get better with time. I’ll teach you the ropes if you just promise to follow me, young Padawan.” 

Luke pats his shoulder in return. “Thanks buddy, I appreciate that.” 

Just before the boys get ready to start the next level, the other three laughing hysterically at their shenanigans, they hear Ray call out: 

“Kids! Food’s ready!” 

“Ooooh,” Alex groans, gently but frantically struggling away from Julie and Flynn. “I’m so hungry I could scream, thank God.” 

“You’re always hungry.” Luke, after saving their game, helps Carlos to his feet. “To be quite frank, you’re worse than Reggie.” 

Alex flicks him on the forehead. “Well, for starters, I’m almost six feet tall—” 

He leaps away with another loud, boisterous laugh when Luke pretends to kick him in the ass. “Take a hike, Squatch.” 

They all troop out into the kitchen together, following the mouthwatering scent of fresh burgers and the sound of Reggie enthusing about something he and Ray are discussing. Rounding the corner is like rounding the gates of Heaven: the entire island is covered with food, from burger toppings to fresh fruit to homemade macaroni and cheese to chips and dip. Julie thinks she might be tearing up a little, looking at the spread and Reggie’s proud, glowing face. 

“This is beautiful,” Alex whispers, like he might also be tearing up. 

Reggie, who is wearing a dorky and obnoxiously cute _**KISS THE COOK!** _apron, gestures at the spread with his hands. 

“A feast for you, my good lords and ladies and any other noble folk in the kingdom.” 

Luke, in a burst of uncontainable joy, rushes up to Reggie and kisses him soundly on the cheek. “This is the best thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Except for you, my dearest Reginald.” 

Ray snorts, and Reggie says, “The same could be said about you, my dearest Lucas.” 

While the boys are making googly eyes at each other and Alex is making googly eyes at the stack of burger patties, Flynn leans into Julie and tells her: 

“I will die and waste away before I find someone who speaks to me the way that Luke and Reggie speak to each other.” 

“Oh my God, tell me about it.” 

Flynn’s face goes from wistful to humored. “Oh, you definitely have no problems in that department. You are the one exception, my sweet angel.” 

“What do you mean?” Julie asks, confused, but all Flynn does is wink and float away to start making a plate. It takes Julie a few moments of watching her to understand what the heck Flynn is even talking about, but when she sees her best friend gesture between where Julie is standing behind Alex, and where Luke is standing and listening to Reggie talk about grilling with genuine interest, she feels herself flush. She silently mouths: _“Shut up!”_ and Flynn giggles, but drops it. 

They’re in the middle of the organized chaos of getting their food when the back door opens and a loud, cheerful cry of: “Hello, hello, familia!” echoes down the hallway. Victoria appears in the kitchen moments later, smiling beautifully and holding a baking dish. 

Ray, who has been standing and watching them all serve themselves, goes to greet her with a hug. He ends up rapping a knuckle on the edge of the ceramic dish in her hands and asks, “What’s this, Victoria? I thought you promised to let me handle all the food tonight.” 

“I promised to let you handle dinner. I never said anything about the dessert.” 

He suddenly looks a lot more interested and a lot less teasing. “Oh, are these your brownies? Can I try one now—?” 

Victoria snatches the tray away. “Ah, ah! You’re worse than the kids!” 

After depositing the tray in a safe spot, Victoria greets Carlos with a big hug and a kiss on the head, one that he reluctantly allows, then gives Flynn a big hug of her own. And then she sashays over to Julie and hugs her tight, the way she always does, like she’s trying to fill Julie to the brim with love and then add some extra in there for good measure. 

“I missed you, _sobrina.”_

_“Tía,_ I saw you two days ago.”

“I still missed you!” Victoria leans back to cup Julie’s face, like she’s seeing her for the first time after many, many years. “I feel like I blink and you’re a year older. I don’t want to miss a second of it.” 

After she hugs Julie some more, she turns to the boys and greets them. “And how are you boys doing?” 

They’re still vibrant and wild, as always, but something about Victoria’s arrival has dampened their rambunctiousness. Alex sounds like the paragon of well-behaved when he replies: “Oh, we’re doing great, thanks so much for asking!” and Reggie straightens his clothes out before telling her: “Yeah, we’re doing wonderfully!” They say nothing else, just smile sweetly and then get out of Victoria’s way as quickly and quietly as possible. Flynn and Carlos don’t seem to notice, but Julie does, and Victoria’s slightly troubled face indicates that she does too. 

“Are they scared of me?” Victoria asks, almost silently, so that Julie is the only one who hears. “I promise I really wanted to know.” 

Julie takes a gamble and decides to be completely transparent. “They’re not scared of you, they’re just scared that you don’t want them to be here.” 

“Ah,” Victoria nods, face smoothing out again. “That makes sense. I’ll be sure to clear the air in just a moment, then.” 

When they’re all at the table together, and grace has been said by Flynn, the conversation naturally continues from there. The boys focus on eating while the Molinas, Victoria, and Flynn catch up with each other, and Julie finds herself watching them more than she chats with her _tía_ or her dad. They speak when spoken directly to, and make it pretty damn convincing, but Julie can see the glass wall around them like it’s made of iron and spikes. She can see the way they’re folded up to make themselves look smaller, or non-confrontational, and it leaves her feeling like she missed the last step on the stairs. Normally by this point, Reggie would be singing about how much he loves Ray’s mac and cheese, Luke would be agonizing over how deeply he despises his Biology teacher, and Alex would be trying his best to make Carlos laugh, laugh hard enough that it fills up the entire first floor. But instead they’re being polite and quiet and _small_ and Julie hates it. 

Victoria sees it, too, must see it as clearly as Julie does, and she tries to smash their glass walls only moments after they begin eating. 

“So,” she starts, ruffling Carlos’ hair. “What did you do today at school? Anything fun and exciting?”

“No, school sucks—fifth grade is, like, _the worst.”_

The boys, Julie, and Flynn, all juniors trying to prepare for their SATs and college classes, groan at this statement. 

“Well, how about baseball?” 

He lights up at this. “Oh, yeah! I got a home run yesterday _and_ got more hits than that jerk Anthony on my team, so that was pretty cool.” 

Ray tries to keep his face neutral when he says: “Hey, Anthony is not a jerk, he’s ten,” but it’s obvious that he also doesn’t care for this Anthony kid. 

“Sorry,” Carlos responds, not sounding sorry whatsoever. “I meant to say that he’s a bad teammate and it felt really good to beat him and listen to him yell about it.” 

While Ray puts his head in his hands, trying to appear exasperated but in reality is probably just trying to smother a laugh, Victoria smiles proudly at Carlos. “Well, good job then, _mijo._ Keep the energy for your next game so I can yell and cheer for you in the stands!” 

“Oh, I’ll do anything to beat Anthony,” Carlos promises, and across the table from Julie, Reggie looks like he might pass out from trying not to react to her brother’s antics. 

“And how about you, Julie?” Victoria asks, adding a pointed eyebrow raise into the question. Julie’s not sure she understands, but she does her best to keep up. “Anything exciting going on at school? Or maybe in your music program?” 

“Yeah, definitely,” she enthuses, bumping shoulders with Flynn. “We finally get to do a pair project, so Flynn and I are going to write and perform a song together. We only have the chorus down, but it’s coming along super well.”

“We’ll show you guys when it’s done!” Flynn agrees, bumping Julie back. “I know Julie is already in a band, but maybe Double Trouble is going to have to have some side gigs in the future.” 

“Is that so?” Luke asks teasingly, but then abruptly looks back at his plate, like he’s ashamed, like what he said was astronomically rude. “Sounds cool. We can’t wait to see the finished product.” 

Flynn bumps her shoulder in Julie again, but instead of it being excited, it relays the question of: _What’s wrong with the guys?_ Julie presses back to say: _Hang tight, we’re working on it._

Victoria tilts her head at Flynn, silently acknowledging this task. “Anything else going with you, sweetie? How are your classes?” 

“I’m doing well, but everything I’m taking this semester is lame. I took some AP classes to get ahead for college but they’re super boring and homework heavy. I hate AP U.S. History more than I have ever hated anything in my life.” 

“Same,” Reggie says, and then flushes. “Um, not to interrupt. But History is the worst, especially if it’s U.S. History.” 

He probably means to trail off awkwardly and not make eye contact with anyone again, but Victoria sees this as her in and takes it with both hands. 

“Are you in Flynn’s class?” Victoria asks, keeping her tone the same. 

“No, I’m in a different one, but it would be cool to have it with Flynn. She would make it less abysmal.” 

“What other classes are you taking?” 

“Uh—I was forced to take Ceramics this semester, which sucks since I’m horrible at art, but I’m also in Calculus 1, AP Econ, and AP Psychology, along with AP U.S. History.” 

Victoria looks positively impressed. “Gosh, you must be one smart cookie. That’s a lot of hard classes. I bet you’ll end up getting into one of the top universities around here, huh? I’d take you in a heartbeat.”

Reggie’s flush goes from light pink to an alarming shade of maroon. “Oh—um—I hope so? I’m not really sure or super confident when it comes to college. I’m good in classes but I’m not too good with test taking, and I’m also kind of bad at science so I won’t be able to get into AP classes for that—and we’re planning on going full time with music, anyways—”

“He’s being modest,” Alex interrupts, resting a comforting hand on Reggie’s tightening shoulders. “Reggie’s one of the smartest people I know. He’s going to work for NASA someday.” 

“I’m not good at science,” Reggie repeats, visibly trying not to ramble again. “NASA’s out.” 

Alex amends: “He’s going to work for the FBI. Or win a Pulitzer Prize.” 

“I have no doubt about that,” Victoria replies. “I can’t wait to see where you go, sugar.” 

“Th-thank you,” Reggie replies, looking lost and adoring all at once, like the first time Ray hugged him goodbye, like the first time Carlos coerced him into watching one of his beloved Markiplier videos. 

Victoria turns to Alex. “And what classes are you taking?”

Alex’s brief return to his natural demeanor cools again, back to his small, polite self. “Oh, I’m not smart like Reggie is. I’m not in AP classes or anything like that. I just go to school and try to get through it.” 

He hunches up when he admits this, like Victoria is going to think less of him for not excelling in school the way Reggie does, or the way Julie and Flynn do. It fills Julie with a swift and brutal anger, but all Victoria does is wave a hand at him. 

“Honey, school is great for a lot of people, but it’s also not great for just as many. You don’t have to go to school to succeed. There are hundreds and hundreds of options out there for you if you don’t like school or don’t feel like you excel in it. There’s no shame in that.” 

Alex looks up at Victoria through the curtain of his hair, looking terribly tiny and hopeful. “Yeah?” 

“Absolutely. I hear you kids practicing whenever I stop by—if you’re serious about going all the way with your band, I have no doubts that you’ll get there. Why waste your time feeling bad about school if you’re going to climb to the top of the world instead?” 

This earns Victoria one of Alex’s true smiles, the one that transforms his normally neutral or pinched face into something gorgeous and radiant. Julie’s heart unfurls inside of her chest at the sight of it, and across the table, Luke’s eyes shine in the reflection of the light pouring from Alex’s lips and in between his teeth. 

“We’re going all the way,” Alex promises her, “until we can’t go any further.” 

“And then we’ll go further anyways,” Luke adds, some of his fire coming back. 

Victoria, at last, turns to him. Luke is too busy grinning over at Alex, and Reggie by association, to notice that she’s moved onto him; Victoria takes it all in, all of Luke’s fire and his beautiful smile and everything sweet and wonderful about him that Julie loves fiercely, and it makes her smile widen. 

“I guess I don’t have to ask you if that’s what you want to do, do I, sweetheart?” 

Luke turns to Victoria, and though he flushes as her sudden attention, his fire stays right where it is, right where it belongs: where everyone can see it. 

“I’ve never wanted anything else. I’ll never want anything the way I want this.” 

Victoria reaches out and squeezes his arm briefly, just enough to pour sunlight into the cracking pieces of Luke’s armor. “You’ll get there in no time at all. You have real talent, _mijo._ You all do.” 

The fire inside of him goes from a steady flame to a roaring blaze. “Thank you. That means a lot to hear.” 

“I’m being honest,” Victoria simply replies, going back to her food. “Everyone is born to be creative, but very few people ever unlock the secret to turning their creativity into the kind of art that changes the world. And fewer people yet meet others who help them to change the world with their art. It would be a loss on us all to not celebrate your gifts and what they will do for others someday.” 

She couldn’t possibly know just how much these words mean to Julie and the guys, but the evidence fills the entire room, just like Victoria’s smile, just like Carlos’ laugh. The pride and hope that each of them feel at the thought of making art together, at the thought of taking their art to the very top of the world for everyone to witness, rises and rises until everyone at the table is beaming and shining from the force of it. No one more than the boys, who are finally sitting with their chins up and their shoulders relaxed, who are finally sitting at the table like they belong there. Who are finally sitting at the table like they realized Julie has been waiting for them to sit down for sixteen years of her life. 

Reggie looks Victoria right in the eyes when he swears: _“Tía,_ you’ll be the guest of honor at our first concert. We’ll take twenty minutes out of it just to tell everyone about you.” 

“I look forward to it,” she replies, winking, and Julie grins at her with absolute, pure love. 

After dinner has been consumed, and Victoria’s brownies, Luke passingly states: “Your _tía_ is the best.” And while all the boys and Ray are playing an enthusiastic game of _Life,_ Victoria leans in and says in a quiet, adoring voice: “Your boys deserve the world and whatever you all find on top of it.” Julie doesn’t stop smiling for the entire rest of the night, even when Victoria leaves, taking Flynn with her, even when the boys all swing her into tight embraces and then have to leave again, back to the other side of town, back to the one place that Julie can’t follow. She’s spent hours agonizing over finding a way to keep them with her, but after Victoria assures them all that they’ll go to the top together, she knows that with patience and perseverance that she’ll get to have them one day. All she has to do is keep reaching and keep making music. 

**_~.~.~_ **

“How do you feel about _‘_ _Running from the past/Tripping on the now/What is lost can be found, it's obvious’_ as the opening lyrics?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” 

Julie turns her head at Luke’s lackluster tone. She’s spread out across her bed, and has been staring at the ceiling for the better part of fifteen minutes, trying to work on some lyrics with him. Luke is sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed, back against the end of the mattress and legs flung out in front of him. They’ve been making some steady progress since coming up here over an hour ago, but halfway through he suddenly started to fade in and out of concentration, something that Julie noticed right away but has been doing her best to ignore. Maybe he’s sleepy, or maybe he’s a little hard-up for lyrics right now. Maybe he wants to work on a different song. Julie tries not to think that maybe he’d rather be doing anything else right now than hanging out in her room on a perfectly warm and beautiful Saturday. 

“Are you sure?” she asks dubiously. He’s staring straight ahead at her dresser, doesn’t seem to even realize that she turned towards him. “We can go with something else, if you have any ideas.” 

“Nah, I like it. _‘Tripping onto the ground’_ is a good lyric.”

“It’s _‘Tripping on the now.’”_

“Right, right, that’s what I meant.” 

Julie squints. “Uh huh. Is there anything you want to add?” 

“It’s pretty good so far,” Luke tells her, still in that same detached tone of voice. “What else you got?” 

She decides to see just how much he’s actually present. “How about after that we put: _‘The ice we skate is getting pretty thin/The water's getting warm so you might as well swim.’”_

“Yeah, that’s really cool. I’m digging it.” 

Julie sighs, rolling onto her front. “Luke, I just quoted lyrics from “All Star” by Smash Mouth. You’re not even paying attention.” 

He jumps a little, as though coming out of a trance, and turns to face her. He looks _tired,_ Julie realizes, all dredges of annoyance fleeing immediately. Tired and dejected and very much not like Luke Patterson. 

“Hey,” she says softly, resting her chin on her crossed arms. “What’s going on? 

Luke bites his lip, like he’s trying his best not to be honest with her, like he can forget the words if he tries hard enough. But as soon as his fight against them starts, it stops; he lets out a deep breath and slumps sideways so that his head is propped up against the edge of her mattress. 

“Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping that well.” 

“Any particular reason why?” 

“Stress,” he shrugs, not meeting her eyes. “School. The usual.” 

Julie replies, not unkindly: “I don’t think so. What’s really bothering you?” 

He picks at some of the loose threads in his ripped jeans and says nothing else. Julie has known him long enough (not nearly long enough, but longer than she might have ever gotten at all) to recognize it as one of his nervous habits, and reaches across the small space to catch his hand in hers. Luke looks up again as she does, and when Julie smiles and squeezes his hand, he squeezes back gratefully. 

“You can tell me anything. I promise.” 

Luke shifts so that their joined hands are carefully wedged between his cheek and the mattress, so that the back of Julie’s hand is pressing into the bruised skin under his eye. 

“Parents,” he says, voice rough with fatigue. “I barely see them anymore, and when I do, all they do is scream at me. They always act like they want me to just turn around and walk the hell back out of the house when I go home. I can’t do anything right, Jules.” 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Julie assures him, though she’s not sure if she believes it, as angry as that makes her. “I’m sure they’re just worried about you staying over here all the time and not coming home until late. They’re just bad at showing it the way they should.” 

“Are you saying I should be here less?” Luke asks this calmly, like he won’t argue if Julie agrees, but she feels the way he tenses at the thought of her doing so. 

She runs her thumb over his wrist, over where his pulse is going off like a rabbit’s when it’s been cornered by a wolf. “No, of course not. If you’re going home to something like that, I would never want you to spend more time in that type of environment. I want you to stay here, where it’s safe.” 

_I want you to stay forever._

He relaxes back onto her hand, eyes fluttering shut. “I don’t know why they can’t say they’re worried or scared without shouting at me. In what universe would screaming at your kid make them want to be near you more?” 

“Have you tried saying something like that to them?” 

“Yeah, and they just started screaming louder. I spent—” He cuts himself off, another secret he wants to keep from her, another secret he wishes he didn’t have at all. Julie squeezes his hand again, and Luke inhales unsteadily, trembles all over like it physically hurts him to remember this secret of his. “I was going to go to Alex’s or Reggie’s, but I didn’t want their parents to freak out since it was so late at night, you know? So I just biked around for a few hours and then fell asleep down at the beach. I didn’t go back home until later that next night when I knew they would be asleep. They didn’t even wait up for me. They never even called.” 

If Julie had a goddamn nickel for every time one of the boys’ parents almost sent her into a murderous rage—

“I’m sorry,” she says, instead of the one hundred thousand other things she wants to say about Luke’s parents and what they’ve done to him. “I’m so, so sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” 

Luke blinks his eyes open, looking helpless and exhausted and so unlike himself that it makes Julie want to take a turn at screaming. 

“I’m doing my best. I’m not smart like you or Reggie, but I get good grades in school. I try to stay out of trouble. I found my calling in life at such a young age, and they don’t _care._ They hate that I love music so much. They just want me to get a boring, normal, stable accounting job and make money and live a boring, normal, stable life. It’s like they brought me into this life just to watch me die.” 

Julie swallows down one hundred thousand more words about how Luke could be a garden if his parents weren’t determined to be the weeds trying to suffocate him mid-bloom. 

“That’s not true at all. You’re one of the smartest people I know.” Julie continues to stroke her thumb over Luke’s pulse, focuses on the steady thud of his heartbeat and keeping it calm so that she won’t throw herself into his arms, or out of her front door and down to his. “You heard what my _tía_ said to Alex—school is not for everyone, and it does not define anyone’s worth. Who cares if you’re not amazing at math or science? You’re smart in so many other, more important ways.” 

“Like what?” he asks, fragile, one wrong word away from shattering completely. 

“Like, you always know what Alex and Reggie need, even before they do. You know how to help them when they’re going through something, and you know what words they need to hear to keep going through it. You know how to take care of them and you’re _good_ at it.” 

“That’s you,” Luke replies, but he’s got a tiny, tiny smile on his face, so Julie presses forwards. 

“Nope, this is all about you right now, so I don’t want to hear any arguments.” This earns her an even bigger smile, something much closer to Luke’s real one, and she smiles back, tries to pour every single ounce of love she has for him through their joined hands. “You’re one of the best guitar players I’ve ever heard, including famous musicians and random people on the pier. You play like it’s just an extension of your arms and hands, like—like you were brought into this world with it already strapped across your chest, with the perfect chords already programmed into your brain. You play _so beautifully._ And don’t even get me started on your songwriting, dude.” 

Luke tries to hide his face behind her hand. “Julie—” 

“I mean it! I tell everyone I know how incredible your songs are. Are you trying to tell me a dummy wrote the song “Bright” by accident? Without putting his heart and brain and soul into it? That’s not a song you create without putting everything you’ve got into it.” 

“No,” Luke agrees, with a peculiar glint to his tired eyes. “No, it is not.” 

“See? You’re so, so damn smart. You know how to reach right into your soul and find the words to express what’s filling it up. What makes your soul complete and long for more all at the same time. You’re so smart that you know how to reach into other people’s souls and find the same thing. Do you know how incredible you have to be to have that ability? To know the right words and how they’ll touch everyone who hears them?” 

Julie thinks the glint in Luke’s eyes might actually be tears, but she can’t be too sure. He’s still smiling, a smile that’s growing wider by the minute, and it’s like the first day of spring after the cold, bitter months of winter. The glint might be tears, but Julie feels like it might be something else, too, something she can just barely put her finger on before it’s out of reach again, something familiar and brand new all at once—

“You know, I wrote that song about us,” Luke admits, still hushed. “It’s supposed to be for all of us, for the band, since we’re growing stronger every day and blazing a bright, wide-open road to the top together. But—I also wrote it about _us._ About _you.”_

Julie’s breath catches. “Me?” 

He nods, eyelashes brushing her knuckles. “Yeah. Of course. Alex, Reggie, and I have only ever really had each other, and we love each other, keep each other sane and right-side up. We were doing fine on our own, just the three of us. But then we met you, and it was _so obvious_ that we’d been fumbling around in the dark for years, trying to find a way out of it, because you lit our entire worlds up. Meeting you and your family, and getting to become part of it these last few months—Julie, you have no idea what that’s been like.” 

“Yeah, I do,” she says, gripping his hand tightly. “It feels like walking on solid ground for the first time in years.” 

“It’s been even more than that for us. Meeting you and playing music with you has been like feeling the sun for the first time. It’s been…” Luke trails off, obviously trying to find the right words. His head is full of them, so many that Julie wonders how he hasn’t already written twenty albums worth of gorgeous songs, and yet he struggles to find the right ones now. “It’s been like standing in the dark, not knowing where I am or what’s in front of me, and all I know is that Alex and Reggie are on either of my sides. And then, just when I think the dark is going to suffocate us or something horrible is going to come crawling out of it, there are suddenly a million fireflies all around the three of us, turning the dark into gold.” 

_“‘Fight through the dark/And find the spark,”_ Julie sings, in the same hushed tone that Luke is using. “That was about me?” 

That glint in Luke’s eyes intensifies, like those million fireflies are trapped inside of his ribcage, desperate to get out and flood the room. 

“Of course,” he says again, with so much tenderness and _love_ that it almost hurts to be on the receiving end of it. “And so is _‘When I feel lost and alone/I know that I can make it home.’_ That’s you, Julie. You’re home for us. We never knew what having a real home was like until you brought us here to play together in the studio. We never knew we could have that until you gave it to us without a second thought.” 

Julie doesn’t know what to say, what she could possibly respond with that could sufficiently express how much she loves Luke and Alex and Reggie and everything they’ve done for her and brought into her life. She doesn’t know what she can say that will keep her from bursting into tears. She tries reflecting the conversation back onto Luke, too overwhelmed and overflowing with adoration to let it sit for too long. 

“This is exactly what I was trying to say. You think just anyone could say something like that off the top of their head? Or at all?” Julie pushes herself up onto her elbows, so that she can take her other hand and grab Luke by the chin, so that he has no choice but to listen to her. “You are one of the most gifted, galaxy-brained people I’ve ever met and even your parents cannot tell me otherwise. You’re smart, Luke Patterson! Nothing you say or do will ever change my mind!” 

“What about the fact that it’s taken me almost seventeen years to figure out what BOGO stands for?” 

“One thing will change my mind,” Julie amends, and it makes Luke laugh, a beautiful, glorious laugh that fills the room and her stomach with fireflies. She lets go of his chin and rests hers back on her other arm, feeling a little unsteady at being so up close and personal with him. “I’m being serious, though. Screw your parents if they make you feel like you’re not good enough for loving music more than anything else. That’s your calling and you’re going to do great things with it. _We’re_ going to do great things with it. If they can’t see how much it fulfills you, then that’s their loss.” 

Luke sobers, and Julie hates to see it, hates to see the light dimming inside of him again already. “But I _want_ them to know how much it fulfills me. I want them to see it and believe it. I’ll do it without them if I have to, but I want my parents to be there when we go to the top.” 

Julie thinks for a moment, still steadying his pulse. “Well, have they ever heard you play? Like, with Alex and Reggie?” 

“Nah. I asked if we could practice at our house a bunch of times so they’d be able to hear, but they always got mad and told me no.” 

“Have you ever asked them to listen to you play?” 

Luke’s nose scrunches up. “What do you mean?” 

“Did you ever say, ‘Hey Mom and Dad, I’m in a band and I want you to listen to us play a song for you.’” 

“...No?” 

“Well, that’s where we need to start. You need to make them sit down and listen to you play just once. Maybe if we force them to sit down and listen to us play together, and they get to watch you play and sing, it’ll show them that you were made for this.” 

Luke sighs for what feels like the millionth time, a terrible, exhausted noise that makes anger crackle through her like a lightning strike.

“I don’t know, Julie. I can try to ask and see if they’ll at least agree to one song, but they probably won’t. They’ll probably just get mad and—” 

He stops again, biting the inside of his cheek, and Julie focuses on his heartbeat, focuses on lining it up with hers, focuses on that and that alone for fear of a catastrophic event if she doesn’t. 

“They’ll just get mad and tell me to stop wasting everyone’s time. Tell me to just keep my head down and in my textbooks so I can get into a decent school and get a decent job.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Julie whispers; she can’t stop herself from purposely pushing her knuckles into Luke’s cheek, into what is an unmistakable caress. “Don’t ever put your head down and float through life. You were born for more than just making a good paycheck and living in a nice house. You were born to touch the stars. You were born to touch every life you come into contact with and leave it better than it was before.” 

Luke holds her knuckles tight to his cheek, hard enough that she can feel the way his jaw is clenched, the way his teeth are grinding together to keep himself from breaking apart. 

“You too,” he whispers back, voice wobbling, eyes definitely shining with tears. “I was born to touch the stars with you and the guys right next to me.”

“Without a doubt.” 

A tear slips from the corner of Luke’s eye, the one pressed against Julie’s hand, and she uses her knuckles to dry it from his skin. 

“Ask them,” she says again. “Ask them to give you a chance to show just how much music fulfills you, fulfills you the way college and a nine-to-five never could. They owe you the opportunity to prove you were born for greatness instead of just security.” 

“I’ll ask, but I don’t know if they’ll say yes. I don’t think they’ll ever understand why I can’t just let life pass me by while I work in a cubicle and earn a paycheck.” 

A brief silence falls over them, and then there’s a soft knock at the doorway to Julie’s room. It makes them both jump and glance up to see Ray leaning in through the open door, somewhat sheepish but mostly concerned. 

“I’m sorry to intrude on your private moment, but—can I come sit with you for a little bit?” 

Julie turns back to Luke, who doesn’t look upset by the intrusion at all. In fact, he remains perfectly relaxed, maybe even relaxes more at the soft, open expression that her dad is wearing. 

“Sure,” Luke tells him; he straightens up, so that his back is against the mattress again, but he doesn’t let go of Julie’s hand, so she doesn’t let go of his, either. “Come on in.” 

Ray carefully crosses the room and settles down onto the floor, back to Julie’s dresser, facing them both. He looks at Julie first, silently asking: _Are you okay?,_ and when she subtly tilts her head to say: _He’s the one hurting,_ he turns to Luke. 

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I promise—I was actually coming to ask if you two had any ideas for dinner, but I think there’s a more pressing matter at hand, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Luke agrees, sounding small again. “I was just, uh, explaining that my parents aren’t very supportive of my passion for music, but I’m sure you already knew that.” 

“Yeah,” Ray echoes. “Unfortunately, kiddo, I had my suspicions. And I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that. I know how hard it is to be at odds with your parents when you want to do one thing and they want you to do another thing entirely.” 

“I wish you were my dad all the time. If you were my dad, I could have grown up with music like Julie and Carlos have, and I wouldn’t have to worry about fighting every step of the way for it.” 

Ray both softens and becomes pained when Luke announces this. “Hey, I know it must seem like your parents don’t love or care about you, but I bet that they love you so much they can hardly bear it. They’d have to be crazy not to. I’m sure that they know how talented and smart you are, but they’re just not able to let go of the perfect life that they’ve always envisioned for you.” 

“But I don’t even want that kind of life. Can’t they see how much it suffocates me to think about working at a regular job all my life? Just so that I can buy a house and a car and have retirement savings when I’m old?” 

“Some parents aren’t able to think about it like that,” Ray explains. “Maybe your parents grew up without a lot of money, or with parents who tried to take risks and lost everything afterwards. A lot of parents try to force their kids down a clear path to success because they were never guaranteed success like that and they don’t want their kids to live the way they had to. All parents want better for their children, and want their children to experience the least amount of pain that they can during their lives. Your parents just want what they think is best for you because they think it will keep you from experiencing life’s many, many hardships.” 

Luke closes his eyes for a moment, like he might start crying, or like he can’t stand what Ray is trying to tell him. “If I go down the path they want to, I’m gonna end up feeling _nothing.”_

Ray gently knocks one of their knees together. “I know, Luke. I didn’t say that they’re right, I’m just saying that that’s probably their thought process on this whole situation. Your parents just want you to have a good, stable life, and they believe that the only path that will lead you to this is going to a ‘good’ school and getting a ‘good’ job. There are very, very few people who ever get to make a life for themselves in the music industry, and even if they make it big, there’s always the threat of your band breaking up and wrecking you, or the dangers of substance abuse and out of control fans, or the possibility of your record label two-timing you and forcing you into a lawsuit—anything wild and tumultuous like that.” 

“Do you think that will happen to us?” 

“No,” Ray replies, without hesitating. “No, I don’t think anything of that sort will happen to you. But your parents probably keep themselves up at night fearing that it will, and they’ll be so far out of your orbit that they won’t even hear about it until it’s too late. Again, I’m not saying that they’re right or that you deserve to be treated the way you are when discussing your dream of being a musician, but I want to try and show you where their misinformation lies. So that you might be able to show them otherwise if you approach it the right way.” 

“I don’t know. I want to try, like Julie told me to, but I’m just not sure if they’ll ever be cool with it. They’re never going to support me the way you support Julie.” 

Ray knocks their knees together again. “I really am sorry, _mijo._ I know how different your parents are from me and Rose when it comes to music. We both come from families full of artists, full of people who paint and sing and play instruments and write—anything you can think of. It’s an essential, core piece of ourselves as individuals and as a family unit. Our entire families were raised with the belief that life without art is not a life worth living. And Rose and I taught our kids the same thing, that art is precious and should be encouraged to its fullest extent. But your parents were probably never encouraged to let art fulfill them and their lives. I’m sure that they were told that art is a waste of time, and they, in turn, are trying to pass that same belief down to you because they want you to have a secure, fulfilling life.” 

Luke thinks this over for a long beat, thumb pushing up into Julie’s palm and his other hand picking at the loose threads on the knee of his jeans again. Ray watches him, so fond and so heartbroken that Julie can hardly stand to look at him, at the warring desire for Luke to make his parents understand and the desire to take Luke under his own wing and let his art flourish. Julie realizes, like the moment you’re half-asleep and suddenly jerk awake again, like the moment your feet hit the ground after taking a great leap, that all of her worrying about Ray not being able to handle loving the boys as his own has been for nothing. That Ray has loved them for as long as Julie has, probably, that Ray’s heart has already decided even if Julie’s hasn’t. 

Eventually, Luke asks, absolutely helpless: “What do I _do?”_

“Talk to them,” Ray tells him. “Sit them down and talk to them about this. Tell them that you’re almost an adult and you want to have an adult conversation where they listen to you and you listen to them and you try to come to some sort of agreement on this situation. The only way that the wound is going to start healing is if some sort of action is taken that will allow it to do so. If they love you, they’ll listen to what you have to say, and they’ll make an effort to understand that music makes you feel alive, and music is what is going to bring you purpose and stability throughout your life.” 

“And if they don’t?” 

Ray holds Luke’s gaze, takes in this expression that is so destroyed, and so relentlessly hopeful as always, the one thing that Luke would remember if he forgot everything else about himself. He takes it in and bears its weight and says: 

“If they refuse to see what forcing you into a life of quietness and one without art will do to you, then I want you to know that I will always support you and your love of art. You will always have a place to come where you have a family that loves you just the way you are and supports you in your pursuit of happiness.” 

Julie thinks, if she were in Luke’s position during this conversation, that hearing Ray say these words would turn her into an absolute wreck, would leave her gutted and without any response that could explain what they meant to hear. Instead, Luke’s face cracks open around a blinding grin, one that brings forth the words ‘find the spark’ in her head, and Ray is the one left speechless. 

“I love you guys so much,” Luke says to Ray, and then turns to Julie and says: “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, besides Alex and Reggie, and I mean it.” 

While Ray is left stunned and notably teary-eyed, Julie just grins back and says: “Us too, Luke.” 

**_~.~.~_ **

When Luke leaves later that night, completely by himself for once but in good spirits despite it, he gives Julie her usual hug, and then, to both their surprises, also gives Ray a hug. Luckily, Ray snaps out of his shock a lot faster than Julie does, and he gives Luke his best Dad Hug in return, the one that makes Julie feel stable whenever the rest of her life has her feeling lost at sea. 

“Thanks for dinner,” Luke tells Ray, looking leagues better than he did up in her room. “And thanks for helping me out with my parent situation. I think I’m gonna go home and talk to them about it tonight.” 

He releases Ray after he says this, but Ray takes him by the shoulders before he can slip away completely. 

“Let us know if it escalates at all. Like I’ve said before, kid, we’ll come get you in a second’s notice, no matter when, where, or why. Promise you’ll let us know if anything happens, okay?” 

“Okay,” Luke affirms, and then practically flounces through the front door, looking like he really is glowing from the inside out. “See you tomorrow!” 

“See you,” Julie returns, and waits until he’s at the top of the driveway before closing the door. 

When she turns back to her dad, ready to make some comment about Luke’s chipper mood, she falls short at the drained, wan expression on Ray’s face. It’s one she knows well, one she knows she wears whenever Luke talks about his parents harking on him, or Alex talks about how strict his parents are, or Reggie refuses to even discuss his. If she had any lingering doubts about how entangled the boys are in their family, any lingering doubts about her dad considering them to be his sons, this look vanquishes them all. 

“It’s so hard,” Ray begins, in a very, very quiet and hoarse voice, “to see what those kids have to go through every day. I just don’t understand it, honey. They’re so sweet and brave and brilliant, and their parents don’t see it _at all._ They don’t see how loving and giving they are despite everything they’ve been put through. It breaks my heart every single day.” 

“I know,” Julie says to him, and then gasps, “I know, I know, _I can’t stand it, Dad.”_

Ray makes a pained noise, and then his arms are around her, giving her the Dad Hug, the one that makes her feel safe when there are monsters digging their claws into the floorboards of her closet and at the edges of her bed. The one that makes her feel like everything is going to be all right when her entire world is falling to pieces over three boys and their wretched, horrible parents. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Ray promises, for what must be the hundredth time, and still sounds like he means it with every single bone in his body. “We’ll figure it out together, I promise.” 

“We’ll figure it out together,” Julie repeats, breathing in the familiar scent of their laundry detergent and her dad’s cologne. “Thank you for everything you do for them and for me. We’d be so lost without you.”

“You shouldn’t ever have to thank me for that, for loving you unconditionally.” Ray’s words have an edge of anger in them, but he takes a deep breath, and the anger is replaced by earnestness when he continues: “I’ll love you no matter what, and the boys, too. _No matter what.”_

She hugs him even tighter. “I love you. And they love you, too, more than anything.” 

They stand in the foyer for a while and hold onto each other, torn to pieces by their agonizing, desperate love for three boys who are always half a step away from danger, and stitched back together by the unconditional love everyone in their family receives no matter what, whenever they need it the most and without expecting anything back in return. Eventually, Ray leans back and suggests they go find Carlos and strong-arm him into the group hug, too, and Julie spends the rest of the night at their sides watching more Disney movies and trying not to see all the empty places that three bodies could fill in their living room. 

**_~.~.~_ **

The boys come over to hang out all of Sunday, and when Luke offers to help Julie with the lunch dishes, she takes the opportunity to ask: 

“Did you end up saying anything to your parents?” 

She expects him to tense or shrug the question off, but to her surprise (and delight), Luke actually smiles. 

“Not yet, but I’m feeling kind of optimistic about it after our wonderful chat.” 

“Yeah? I’m glad to hear it. I hope it goes well.” 

“Me too.” Luke takes a bowl from her and carefully dries it. “I’m sure you’ll be shocked to learn that I decided to try writing a song first, before even talking to them directly.” 

Julie makes an exaggerated face of astonishment. _“No way.”_

Luke makes an exaggerated face back. “Yes way! I figured that the best way to express myself was through my craft. Maybe it’ll even get us a platinum record someday.” 

“Oh, I’m sure it will,” she laughs, teasing but also very sincere. “Does it have a name yet?” 

Luke takes a cup from her this time, purposely bumping their shoulders together. It makes Julie feel like she’s standing in a meadow with no shoes on, warm grass between her toes, the summer sun on her face, and the scent of dirt and flowers filling her lungs. It makes Julie feel like she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but right here, in front of this enigma of a boy and his firefly heart. 

“Yeah,” he says, grinning sweetly. “I think I’m gonna call it “Unsaid Emily.”” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe i hope you all enjoyed this update!!! i haven't written a main f/m pairing in ummmmmm Several Years so this is like,,,,, new fuckin territory for me. i'm glad that it's juke tho, they deserve all the fics and all the love. they're the fucking cutest. i can't wait to agonize over them for 5 seasons before they hold hands or luke asks her out on a ghosty date. i hope you're all ready for the next chapter because it's going to be a lot and i'm so so so excited to write it!!!!!!! also there will be hefty flynn content in ch4 as well which i'm extra excited to include!!! thank you so much for reading and supporting my fic and i hope you're all having a wonderful week and staying safe ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ always feel free to leave a message in [my tumblr inbox](http://bodhirookes.tumblr.com/ask) if u want to talk about how much of a disaster charlie gillespie is at all times
> 
> i also wanted to add that i [made a spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4qjCGJioIH1v3GMyzsMAZj?si=wuDESqLaQpif6Ugg8AbJqg) for this fic of songs that remind me of it/that i like to write to if you want to check it out!!!

**Author's Note:**

>  **tw:** along with mentions and discussion of child abuse/neglect, alex has a situation occur where he thinks his parents are going to kick him out and he stays the night at julie's because he's afraid to go home  
> ____
> 
> well there's ch1!! i hope yall enjoyed it and are excited for the other sections!! i anticipate them coming really soon because i'm super into jatp right now and this all came out in like 3 separate sittings and i'm feeling good about it. i promise that there will be many, many great moments of found family and cuddling and love amidst the chaos in the boys' lives. thank you so much for reading!! :")
> 
> also can u believe they announced last names for alex and reggie literal days before i finished this lmfao god is real. if u ever want to chat [my tumblr inbox](http://bodhirookes.tumblr.com/ask) is always open!! :-)


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